I could brag and say I do everything well, but I’m far too modest for that. Suffice it to say that there is little I have turned my hand to in life at which I have not excelled.
Well, ok, I never really took to driving, but that wasn't my fault. It was all the other motorists. In my entire 2-year motoring ordeal, I didn't have so much as a bump, yet I found myself perpetually accompanied by a cacophony of horns blowing as I tootled gayly along at a comfortable and prudent speed of 25 MPH.
And then there was Karate. I only lasted about a month, but that wasn't my fault either. I could've been a contender but as the only lady in the class I was traumatised, being forced by the instructor to run across the stomachs of the men as they lay prostrate on the floor. The murderous glares from the guys as I hopped nimbly from one to the other convinced me that my life was in danger should I happen to gain even a pound or two from gorging myself on chocolate over Christmas.
And of course, there was Yoga…Actually, let’s not go there other than to say that my attempts at making like a tree were not entirely appreciated by the teacher, Ratmanbandu. And yes, he made such an impression on me that I still remember his name even after 40 years!
So what am I good at? Well, everything but the above, of course, except perhaps dancing. I never quite got the hang of that, or netball, tennis, or tai chi. Not to mention the time I tried putting up some shelves.
My friends tell me I'm a good listener, not continually interrupting and dolling out advice. What they don't realise is that I'm not actually listening at all.
But seriously, I'd say I'm pretty good at motivating people. I ran a legal services firm for 15 years with virtually no staff absences. Sick or not sick everyone worked. One of the typists once had her foot run over on the way to work and arrived in the office on crutches after being at the hospital. I sent her home, of course. I mean, I'm not a total monster. We did divvy up the spoils twice a year, so perhaps that was the motivation for their diligence, but nonetheless, I like to think of myself as an inspirational leader of men.
Another thing I've recently found I've quite the aptitude for is growing food, a skill that might come in handy fairly soon. Lest you doubt my candour, I present my cabbage and strawberries.
It's like Michael Bloomberg said 'You dig a hole, you put a seed in, you put dirt on top, add water, up comes the corn." He also said it requires very little grey matter. Hmm! Could this explain my farming prowess?
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