I’ve forever been obsessed with fitness, having a lifelong fear of fat and a determination not to acquire that middle-aged dumpling shape. To that end, I have always engaged in some sort of daily exercise and watched what I ate. Now in my 60s, I can smugly declare that if it was not for my grey tresses and ever-increasing collection of wrinkles, sure you’d think I was still 25!
As I’ve gotten older and watched many of my friends succumb to this and that illness, it’s the health as opposed to the aesthetic benefits of fitness that concern me. What others might spend on holidays, clothes, or electronics, I’ve invested in aids to my obsession such as a hyperbaric chamber…. Michael Jackson had it right ...an infrared sauna, a red light therapy machine, a hydroxy gas system, an original reconditioned Tesla device and 4 Tesla bioheaters.
Before you cry rich bitch, I’m not. I live the life of a hermit. I’m off-grid, grow a good proportion of what I eat, I’ve never been inside a nail salon or had my eyebrows fiddled with and the last time I had my hair touched by a hairdresser was nigh on 35 years ago. I’m a thoroughgoing miser with a health and fitness mania.
Before I retired to live off the fat of the land, in business, my obsession was perfection. My business had to be the best in the business. It wasn’t so much about being better than the others but about standing out and offering something different. To the detriment of my finances, it was always about service rather than profit.
When I started a legal services company it shook up the formerly sleepy industry guaranteeing same-day service while my competitors took days to deliver. We became the largest game in town and were known for getting excellent results which always arrived on time.
Amsterdam Escape, a vacation rental company my brother and I started in the early 2000s got to number 1 on Trip Advisor for Amsterdam Holiday Accommodation. Our places were fun, filled with quirky little knick-knacks, and we supplied everything you needed from bongs, pipes and grinders, toothpaste and shaving foam, right down to a little bag of weed to get you started.
Our Chillout apartment
We always scored 10 out of 10 for cleanliness, mainly because I re-cleaned each apartment after the cleaners had left.
Our Suite apartment
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We also became the go-to holiday place for American soldiers stationed in Iraq who’d lock themselves into the apartments with 50 bags of weed and 50 porno tapes, not emerging until it was time to go back to the front.
Our Coke apartment
At this point, I would like to assure you that despite the foregoing bragfest I am an ever so ’umble individual with a few issues. As my father used to say, insanity doesn't run in this family, it positively gallops.
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