I am a very anxious person, for me everything has a flaw. I would always find a reason to be upset about something, how something could have been better, how my life isn't perfect, how everyone else seems put together versus what a mess I am. And before I knew it, I was the Grumpy Uncle we all HATE!!!
But this realization of me being so, isn't something recent, it's something that I have seen myself convert into. Slowly, gradually, over the years, and today.... it is who I am. Now having the realization that I AM ANXIOUS, doesn't mean I am proud of it, or that I can turn it around now that I know the problem, it just means that I know there is a problem- solution?.. I don't know; is there something I can do about it?... Maybe; is there something I am doing about it?.... Absolutely; But is it helping?... Well, that's a very good question.
But before I jump into if my solutions are working, let's see a little into what anxiety is — my reactions have become too negative (yes, that's what we know about it), I’m anxious most of the time, my mind runs to worst-case scenarios, and even when something good happens, I’m already thinking about the next problem. I am maybe too afraid of the failure that I don't even take the chance to put myself into the game. It's like you are desperate to change something, but scared of the change itself, like you are not happy with the current state, but scared of being unhappier if things go South, and hence you burn in your own hell between "wanting to change" and "not taking the chance".
So, what helped me? Well, I tried for it to not sound cliche, trust me! But pressing that PAUSE button did. And when I say pause it doesn't mean that world will stop for you and you will suddenly feel the sunshine again. It just means you have to hit the PAUSE button, and keep hitting it unless you feel better. Think of it as suffering from Hypertension, you never quite get cured but you can control it with the right measures. Now, what exactly is the PAUSE button? — it is when you take a pause, breathe, remind yourself "this is not a crisis" and "I can come out of it" and most of all, THINK OF ALL THE THINGS YOU ARE GRATEFUL ABOUT. I think gratitude goes a long way, making us realize how far we have come and how strong we have become. Realizing your own strength is the way which can lead you to fight your demons and I think somewhere along the way we forget how important it really is.
Like for me, somewhere along the way, even I stopped being grateful. Not in a big, dramatic way — not like I never say “thank you” — but in the quiet, personal way where you actually feel thankful for what you have. It’s like my brain has been so busy scanning for what’s wrong that it forgot to see what’s right. We fight all the demons day in and out and eventually give in to the one within us— and yes, it’s hard. But even in the middle of this mess, there are things that are okay. Things that are good. And ignoring them doesn’t make the bad parts go away — it just makes life feel heavier than it needs to be.
So I’m trying to pause, even if it’s for 10 seconds a day, and notice what’s here:
The people who check on me even when I go quiet.
The mornings I wake up without a headache.
The cup of tea that feels like a small hug.
The fact that I’ve survived 100% of my bad days so far.
I’m not suddenly becoming this super-positive, Zen person — that’s not me. But I think I owe it to myself to not let anxiety be the only voice in my head. Gratitude doesn’t erase problems, but maybe it gives me a softer place to stand while I face them.
I remember as a kid I used to always think, "things might not be good today, but it will eventually", and this thought alone gave me strength to keep going. And subconsciously I never realized how much that helped me grow each day as a person that I was. A lot of times we, as adults, forget that amidst everything that we are tangled in, there's always something we always wanted and is right here with us but we are so blinded with the negatives that we forget to even acknowledge what we still have with us.
So Folks, here's to being grateful to WHAT WE ARE, WHO WE ARE, AND WHO WE WILL BE!
Let's all say to ourselves: I am a blessed soul, and good things will come to me! Amen!!
#philosophy #psychology #mindset #family #health #reflect #wellbeing #mentalhealth
