Hello. Good afternoon or whatever. Now that we got that outta the way, let's get reel.
My buddy... Clarence, we'll call him. I've always wanted to call someone Clarence. 48 years later, I don't know a single one. Life-is-not-fair!!!! Anyhoo, Clarence..
What do you feed Atlas, just veggies and turkey? Do you season it?
No.
𝓣𝓱𝓮 𝓮𝓷𝓭
Fine, I'll tell you.
Clarence has a sick dog. Sick-sick like 1k/week to keep alive, sick. I asked what happened but they're still waiting for results. Symptoms are almost died, red blood cell something, white blood cell something and whatever else he said. I remember 3 grand and almost died.
Could be a poison. We spray our properties with different poisons around here to prevent mosquitoes and ants and other nuisance insects no one likes. Or, the food.
Contrary to popular belief, dogs are not garbage disposals. I guess Clarence's wife researched the food they've been giving their dog and didn't like anything she discovered. They mentioned some of the stuff I feed Atlas to their vet and apparently I know wtf I'm doing.
Their dog received several blood transfusions over the course of a couple weeks while in veterinary care. Lab results haven't pinned the issue yet so she had to stay there until they could stabilize her enough to return home. Until results come in, they're reaching for solutions.
Clarence has since cancelled the poison guy. They're in the market for alternate menu options now.
That's what this is.
Couple things; first, know what Not to feed your dog. Grapes or almonds, tomato, any pits: plum, peach, et cetera can kill them.
Then, learn what proteins work for your dog. I can't feed Atlas Chicken, does horrible things to her. Chicken meal, chicken byproduct, chicken something is in almost everything. Pork isn't much better. Beef is, slightly, it's just so fatty. Turkey and fish seem to agree with her the best.
Once you figure those things out, mix it up, no one wants to eat the same thing every day. Atlas loves brussel sprouts. Those are like her candy. Cauliflower, asparagus, broccoli, radish—best friend.
95% lean ground turkey, carrots, cucumber, potato, and a little bit of olive oil. Prepare it like you'd prepare turkey, vegetables, potato, and a little bit of olive oil.
We work out of two bags of kibble. I like to have at least two strains on me at all times, too. Mix them together, alternate back and forth or upside down, figuratively spice things up a little.
1n1/2 heaping cups of kibble and about the same for topping, 2x/day. Mix well. It should make enough for +/- four days. Breed, weight and age determine portion size. This explains that.
I heat up the topping for about 30 seconds once it's been refrigerated. Cold potatoes, ~Mmmm said no one ever.
This last one's my signature move—patented. Developed it myself. I don't typically share it but it's just us here anyway, so, fuck it.
I sing to her while I mix it up.
Mhm.
I'll hold it down by her nose sometimes, too, in the middle of a twist cuz I can get down on a tile floor in socks, dude! No two songs are the same. They change every time.
A cappella.
Freestyle..
Mmmmmmmm you're gonna loooooovve this
You're gonna mm mm mm mm looooove this
Cuz you're a daddy's girl a what a daddy's girl
You're a wikky-wikky-wikky-wikky daddy's girl
She can hardly stand it in case you can't tell.
