Wow, things have been a fucking roller coaster. I haven't been writing as much and I have a surprising amount of acceptance about that. I have been taking care of practical life stuff really well. I have

Last bet-July 24th I attended my second GA meeting and received my 30-day pin. I'm very proud because recovery has been very hard. Attending GA seems incredibly important for recovery. I will be sure to

Day 28 I'm going to try to celebrate.  I'm in so much pain today. I don't know if it is related to withdraw symptoms or other things in my life or both.  Fuck, though. My mind is crushing me,

It has been a few days since I've written. I've had so much going on with two different jobs. Most pressingly, I have been struggling emotionally after my girlfriend told me that she doesn't know if she

Day 22 I am travelling for work today. Additionally, I just got paid. There is worry and anxiety in my body about gambling while I’m in a new space. I have a plan in place if I the urges become intense,

Yay! Three weeks to the day is the last bet I made. I have no money after torching 13K over a two week span, but I feel powerful as can be. I mean NO money. Like, visas are maxed, maxed beyond the limit,

I felt a lot of emotions as I attended the GA meeting. An incredible cocktail of shame, excitement, fear, curiousity, necessity, and determination was present in my body. It lasted for the first hour of

Day 20 I went to GA last night. What an incredible feeling—to have my shame out on the table and received so warmly by others. It was a profound experience to listen to the stories of others. I'm very

I am going to my first GA meeting tonight. Can anyone tell me what to expect? Is it expected that people talk at their first meeting? Thanks. Today is a good day.

Day 19 Yesterday was a tough day. I had lots of arguments with my partner. Understandably, she feels scared given the fact that I withheld my gambling addiction from her. Nonetheless, she is being very

Holy shit. Tough day. Didn't gamble though. Today is a good day.

Day 16 It has been a while since I have journaled. A lot has happened, but mostly I have been in transit, travelling with my GF, visiting a good friend, and attending a festival. I have not gambled. I

Day 7/1 Week! WO! Another day without gambling. I have made it to a week. I haven't looked at any poker sites either, although that drive is really strong. I am worried about the day I have 50,000$ saved.

Day 6 I am nervous and hungover. I feel rushed. I sabotage contentment. Day 6 without gambling and I feel weird. Stomach is constantly upset. Also from drinking too much, I guess. I am going to continue

Day 5 I will not gamble today. I went down to 'city x' with my GF. I did not gamble. I did get pretty tipsy, though. In fact, I have drank a lot this week. I have taken notice of this and will stop until

Day 3 I am deciding that I am done working for free. Each time I gamble I end up working for free. I am finished with that feeling. I have changed. It is done. I am thankful that I have found recovery.

I will not gamble today. The pain is too great. Think of all of the things you can accomplish if you put that resolve toward other things in your life. Today is a good day. xoxo

Day 1—Healing Gambling/Poker Addiction Today marks one day without gambling. Sure, it is will power, but I am also broke. I'm 28 years old and am employed in a professional position. I have been gambling,