It's been 2 years since I decided to be a vegetarian. Today I ate meat. What made me do it?
I've been talking with my best friend about how in the last week I've been craving a specific soup with meat dumplings, called ciorbă de perișoare. I thought it was just a temporary crave as I never felt this before. But something in my body really did not feel right. And I was pondering about the ethical reasons why I gave up meat and if should I consider changing my decision.
I promised to myself that only when I will be pregnant and if my body would require a change of diet, then I would do it. No mother would jeopardize the health of her unborn baby, even if it means giving up some ideal way of eating prior to pregnancy.
I am not pregnant now yet...the moment of decision has come. And I decided to listen to my body and change my decision.
The last 4 months since I came back in Romania were difficult for me. In order to go to therapy every 2 weeks I have to change 2 trains and commute almost 3 hours. Yet it is amongst the best decisions I have made because I am confident that it will help me grow into the person that I want to be more of: more confident and aware of my worth and better prepared to be a good partner, wife, mother and overall person. It is not easy on me and the accumulation of all of the setbacks regarding tattoing, job and dream pursuit made me feel very vulnerable and alone.
I realize now more than ever how good it is for a woman to have a reliable responsible partner to help her out in such moments and I see the fact that , to my disadvantage, I was functioning in my masculine energy way too much, not allowing space for proper help to come my way. I no longer believe that I have to do everything alone and I think that a good man is of tremendous help in the life of a good woman.
The change of my diet made me think of another idea: how often do we cling to old ideas and old ways of doing things that no longer serve us in the present? I am guilty of this thinking error and I consider that the only constant in life is change.
Only through challenging my own beliefs, attachments and ideas I can grow. This implies seeing people as they are , not as I would like them to be. Accepting reality as it is. And most of all seeing how my own ideas need to change. Therapy is good as it challenges my old beliefs. We can choose to remain captive in old patterns and refuse to listen to our body, soul and intuition or we can choose to set ourselves free and accept that we have the freedom to change whenever we feel like it. And this is a lesson I learned today. By eating meat because my body asked for it. And I accepted that a decision I took in the past no longer serves me in the present. Quite a profound realization after just a meal...isn't it?....
