It must be as weird for you as it is for me to see me with straightened hair. When I do my own haircut I have to straighten it as I can't do it while Curly Mode is on. Every 4 to 5 months I go chop chop.
I can see my own haircolour better and I definetely like what I see. A few grey hairs are only there to remind me that I gained some extra wisdom ๐ I have auburn hair so it has redhead hues with some blonde vibes when the season changes. I am proud that until now no chemical dye has ever touched it and I plan to keep it this way.
As I looked in surprise to my new look I have thought of identity. Of how we attach ourselves to a particular look and think that it is all we can be. I identify as being a curly redhead but it is not everything that I am. I am as equally beautiful with my hair up, in a bun, straightened, curly, messy, wavy. It is my personality that shines through the identity of what it is thought of me with my particular hairstyle. I will make a post with pictures of me ranging from childhood, highschool, university to now, so it would be obvious to you how my hair told a story yet the personality told another.
I am also starting to feel better and better with every day. The lens through which I see my reality went through a major shift. I realize, with gratitude, that me, at 33, now, I am living the best time of my life and that I have a strong spirit that makes me rise from the ashes every single time. Stronger. Wiser. Smarter. A badass with the heart of an angel.
I have a warm, cosy, peaceful place where I feel safe. I have warmth, shelter, a small library, my plants. A good job allows me some extra freedom to go to therapy and also do some extra stuff for my soul. I realize that now I am in the best setting in order to start dating and meet a man that will commit to me for life and love me sincerely. I am open to love and be loved in a healthy way. I am no longer in a highly stressful environment and I can finally allow a natural process of courtship to happen. I realize that while I am getting stronger and more healed I am making a conscious choice to keep only loving and respectful people in my life. I choose trust, loyalty, respect, commitment, peace, stability over chaos, cheating, mind games, disrespect and lies. I feel better and better , despite all of the ebbs and flows. It is the lens that I see the world through that has changed, not the reality itself.
I have in mind a great project that I desire to start and it is an absolute revelation moment for me. The kind of "AHA" that happens when you know that you are onto something. I am super stoked about it and I feel that it is something that will bring me a lot of meaning and purpose to my life.
I also see, with gratitude for all of the adversity and all of my mistakes and flaws, what a wonderful woman I have become. How I kept my kind , loving ways despite all of the hardships. I am in awe at the marvel of what we call the human spirit and the power that us, as women, have to heal over and over again and still be open to love.
I am so grateful for my life right now that I would hug all of you๐ค
