“You must trust and believe in people or life becomes impossible.”
-Anton Chekhov
Here we go again, another post on trust in the series. Goodness, if you have followed me this far then you must be a glutton for punishment. It really is an exercise in your patience to stick with me, or maybe you do like the content. I hope it is the latter.
If you are just joining me and haven’t read the previous posts, that is okay. I will catch you up with a quick run down as I do in every post.
I have found trust to be the reason why I have difficulty digging myself out of isolation. It is a lack of trust in others, as well as my fear that they lack trust in me. In my previous posts through self-study, counseling, and reading I came up with five common reasons why there may be distrust in a relationship. In my previous posts we discussed past experiences, then was fear of vulnerability, and cultural and social factors. The remaining two we need to cover are personality traits and lack of communication.
Today I plan to cover what I learned about personality traits. Through my reflection I discovered I have very direct personality traits, which was really no surprise. There are pluses and minuses to having direct personality traits. I will cover those a little in just a little bit. First let’s talk about personality traits in general.
Personality traits reflect people's characteristic patterns of thoughts, feelings, and behaviors.
Personality traits can play a significant role in my ability to trust others. For example, when I have high levels of anxiety, I may be more prone to worry and fear, which can make it difficult for me to trust others.
Other personality traits that can affect trust include a person's level of openness, agreeableness, and emotional stability. For example, individuals who are more open to new experiences and ideas may be more likely to trust others, while those who are less agreeable may be more likely to view the actions of others with suspicion or hostility.
It's important to note that personality traits are not necessarily fixed or unchangeable. While some people may be more naturally inclined towards trust or suspicion, it's possible to develop greater trust in others through experiences that challenge and expand beliefs and perceptions.
If a person finds that their personality traits are making it difficult for them to trust others, seeking support from a therapist or counselor can be helpful in developing new skills and strategies for building trust and healthy relationships. I have found my self-therapy to be extremely helpful as well.
Let’s return to directness. I want to focus on directness because that is my main personality trait that I discovered about myself. While being direct and honest is generally considered a positive trait, there are some personality traits of a person who is direct that can prevent trust with others. Here are a few examples:
I am blunt
When I am overly blunt or insensitive in my communication style it will make me struggle with building trust, as others may feel that their feelings or perspectives are not being considered.
I can seem abrasive
When I seem abrasive or confrontational in my interactions with others I may find it difficult to establish trust, as others may feel intimidated or defensive around me.
Rigid as a board
I can be very rigid. Individuals who are rigid or inflexible in their thinking or behavior may struggle to build trust, as others may feel that they are not open to new ideas or perspectives.
Judgy
I hate to admit it, but I can be judgmental. People who are judgmental or critical of others may find it challenging to establish trust, as others may feel that they are being unfairly evaluated or judged.
I can be intense
I am highly intense or emotional in my interactions sometimes. This can cause me to struggle to build trust, as others may feel overwhelmed or uncomfortable around me.
Very impatient
I have no patience. When I am impatient or intolerant of others' pace or process, I will find it difficult to establish trust, as others may feel rushed or pressured.
These personality traits can make it challenging for me to establish trust with others and addressing them is crucial to building more positive and healthy relationships. It is essential for me to find a balance between being direct and honest while also being respectful and considerate of others' feelings and perspectives.
And once again we are at the conclusion of another post. There will be another post on the topic of trust in a few days. I hope you will be here with me as I discuss lack of communication and trust next time. This one will drill down specifically on the lack of communication or transparency a direct person like me can create, or fail to create.
Thanks,
Joe
I would be happy to hear what you have to say and share with me. I need it to help me grow, to get out of this shell, dig out of my hole. To become a better person.
Note: Image source Canva.com
