There is a version of my life where I kept trying to fit into the standard mold. Show up at 8. Leave at 5. Be consistent. Be reliable. Be normal. It never happened. I was a 6am to 6 or 7pm guy. Work-a-holic. A burnout that didn't knnow it...until I burned out.
That version stopped existing due to a hardcore burnout.
I have a neurological condition, along with other "little" things. I am not going to get into the specifics because frankly it does not matter for this particular post. What matters is that it makes traditional employment unattainable. Some days I am sharp. Some days I am not. Some days I can grind. Some days I cannot predict what tomorrow looks like. Employers tend to frown on that kind of uncertainty. Especially ones in the Industry I worked in before I left it.
So I stopped trying to convince them to take a chance on me. My last one was gracious enough to let me retire early. My retirement account and savings took a pounding to ensure I went into retirement debt free, besides mortgage, but I was lucky to be able to do it. Proper planning always helps.
After a few years of sulking, depressing, and even having a mental break, I pulled myself up and started building something. I started working on me first, then I started working on something that works around the reality I actually live in.
The Shift
For a long time I thought the goal was to overcome my limitations. Push through. Compensate. Hide it well enough that nobody notices. I mean that is what I did in the military. That works until it does not. And when it stops working, you are left explaining yourself to people who do not really want to hear it. No different outside the military I found.
The shift happened when I stopped seeing my situation as something to overcome and started seeing it as a constraint to design around. Engineers and Project Managers do this all the time. You have limitations on materials, budget, physics. You do not complain about gravity. Gravity is a constant, it is what it is. You just build something that accounts for it.
So I asked myself: what would work look like if I stopped fighting my limitations and started engineering around them?
What That Looks Like in Practice
I'm building a coaching business. The work is remote, flexible, and asynchronous when it needs to be. I work with clients who need strategic thinking. They don't care about whether you sit in an office 9 to 5.
I am also pursuing a doctorate. Not because I need the letters after my name, but because the structure keeps me sharp and the credential opens doors that would otherwise stay closed. I am also realistic about amount of study and timing. There is also some urgency to finishing while I can. The school is able to provide me some medical accommadations which is helpful. I also show up on specific professional sites. I create short text content. I build relationships slowly. I do not chase. I plant seeds and wait. Some grow. Some do not. That is fine.
None of this looks like a traditional career path. That is the point.
The Hard Parts
I am not going to pretend this is easy.
There is a loneliness to it. Most people do not understand why you cannot just get a regular job. They do not say it out loud, but you can feel the confusion. Or worse, the pity.
There is financial uncertainty. Coaching income is going to be lumpy. Some months will be good (hopefully). Some not. I am going to have to learn to budget for the gaps or learn the hard way. It is all a little scary.
There is also the constant recalibration. What worked last month might not work this month. You have to stay flexible, which sounds nice until you realize it means you can never fully settle into a routine.
The Point
If you are reading this and you have your own limitations, whatever they are, I am not telling you it will be all okay. I don't know your situation. So, maybe it will be okay. Maybe it will be a hard road. Maybe, most likely, probably both.
What I can tell you is that the usual path is not the only path. Its just the most visible one. There are other ways to build a life that works. and sometimes they require a little more creativity, a little more patience, and some more tolerance ffor uncertianty.
Those paths exist.
And sometimes those constraints that seem like they are holding you back are actually forcing you to build something better than what you would have settled for otherwise.
But don't listen to me, this is just a reflection. I am still figuring it out. But I am figuring it out on my terms. That counts for something....right?
Thanks for reading,
Joe
Notes:
-All content is mine unless otherwise annotated.
-Images are my own unless otherwise noted.
-Photos edited using MS Paint and/or iPhone SE.
-Page Dividers from The Terminal Discord.