About 10 months ago I was having an intense conversation with a close friend about our lives so far and during the course of our discussion, I made a statement that rocked the atmosphere of the entire room. I told him that " 15 year old me would be disappointed in the man that I am today" and to be honest back i thought I was right because my life looked like a complete mess. I was struggling to grasp who I really was since the man staring back at me when I looked at the mirror was unrecognizable all while battling the fact that I just lost my job and facing the pressure of being a fresh graduate. It took some time for me to realize I wasn't actually the failure I thought I was but a flawed human going through a tough phase bound to shape my life, one I am still on till this very day.
Hello everyone, my name is Emmanuel Kudeh and this is my who I am. As a part of a very large family, I swore to stand out for the right reasons from a young age instead of living the past glory of a family name but got overwhelmed by fear. I blossomed into a socially awkward teenager who avoided reflective surfaces because he hated his physical appearance and too scared to communicate in public. A lot of people thought I was proud as I seemed too reserved unbeknownst to them that I was constantly in a tug of war with level three anxiety. It got so bad that even at nineteen I was still on the run from everything/everyone and the only escape I had from my life was either fantasizing about about the perfect version of myself or watching others achieve that on TV and the internet.
After much consideration, it dawned on me that nobody was going to save me and people did not really care as much as I thought they did, I needed to take full control of my own life even though it is definitely going to be uncomfortable. During my second semester as a freshman in uni, a friend bought a huge mirror and forced me to look at it every single day. That simple nudge became the very catalyst for my change, I saw myself in full for the first time in a long while and that pushed me to do better, become the version of myself I always daydreamed about. I still made terrible decisions along the way in a hurry to prove to everyone I was not the same person they used to know but learned from those mistakes. I forced myself out of that shell I called a comfort zone, made new friends, created bonds that are still going strong till this day, accepted my looks what it is, worked on my physique and polished my personality.
So yeah, I am proud of the person I am constantly evolving into. My battle scars are the testament to my hardwork and if that scared little boy saw who I am today, he'd marvel at my unrecognizable attributes. I might not be who he wanted to become but I am a reflection of growth and I bet he would be proud too. I still remain 
Thank you all.
PS- All images are mine
