If wishes were horses, beggars indeed would ride. In fact, we would all live our dream lives.
Reality sets in with responsibilities, responsibilities comes with age.
It is very normal to have fantasies as a child. When I was younger, I did not have a particular profession that I really loved. But all I knew was that when I grew up, I wanted to look very beautiful, successful, and happy. I wanted to be a big woman.
Then, in primary school, I believed that when I entered secondary school, I would become that big girl. I imagined that secondary school was the stage where I would finally become mature and start living the life I had imagined. No, I finished secondary school still being a child.
I thought success came very fast. I believed that by certain stages of my life, I would already have everything figured out. Even after university, nothing has been figured out. Those thoughts I had as a child about having everything in place by a certain age were just fantasies. I never prepared myself for the responsibilities that is might come with.
Some people are exposed to responsibilities at a much younger age. They understand what life struggles mean because they have experienced them early. But for some people whose parents have been there to cover their needs and cater to them, it can be difficult to fully understand how hard it is to make ends meet until they begin to experience life more independently and this is my category. I thought making money was easy .
Financial struggles is not the only problem that comes with adulthood. Sometimes, growth comes with awareness, the feeling with of not doing good enough. You begin to question yourself and wonder if you are actually trying hard enough. There are moments when you feel inadequate, when you blame yourself, when you feel pressured to get things right, and when you wonder why you have not achieved certain things yet.
As children, we cared less about these things. We simply lived. There was nothing to bother about. But as maturity sets in, growth comes with awareness. You become more conscious of yourself, your decisions, your future, your responsibilities, and even the expectations you have for yourself. You begin to notice things you never paid attention to before. The constant feeling of not trying enough, the blame, the pressure, the desire to do things right, and the fear of falling behind, these are some of the things that can come with growing up.
Yeah, this is my stage of life.
Navigating through it, is the only option. It will not always be smooth, and I may not have everything figured out yet. But I choose to believe that our efforts must pay off someday.
Maybe my dreams will still playout, just that I did not prepare myself of the hurdles that will come with achieving this dream.
Image is mine
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