Namaste!!!
Battles must not necessarily involve weapons, physical combat or throwing shade. Most battles are silent, and the people around us may never understand what we are going through until we finally open up and tell our stories. One of the most difficult phases I experienced while going to school was dealing with a health condition.
We had just entered a new academic session after my first year in school when I became seriously ill. I didn't know whether it was the stress or something else. I became so sick that I had to run laboratory tests and take prescribed medications, but all to no avail. I became slimmer, and at some point, I told my mum that I couldn't continue with school and would love to quit. No, my mum wasn't having any of that. She encouraged me to continue, but this time, to take things easy.
When I resumed, my friends knew I wasn't very strong, but they didn't understand the intensity of what I was going through. Because I constantly showed up for classes, went about my day and cracked jokes with them, they felt all was okay. Whenever I made excuses for not being able to attend a function with them, they sometimes assumed it was because I simply didn't want to show up for them. Sometimes, I missed quizzes in class because the symptoms would start, and I would have to go home to rest.
I battled this condition until my fourth year in school. However, before I reached my fourth year, the symptoms gradually reduced because I finally got a diagnosis. Despite everything, I still studied hard and maintained good grades. Sometimes, my friends, who were perfectly healthy, would be too tired to read, while I, who was managing my health, would still push myself and them to take our studies seriously. Because of the strength they saw in me, they believed everything was fine. I always tried to appear strong and happy, so they didn't really understand how difficult things were for me. It was a very tough experience.
I came to understand that life is private. Someone can be dying inside and still appear strong and cheerful on the outside. Initially, I was trying so hard to appear perfect, but I eventually realised that it wasn't helping me. I started opening up to my friends and anyone who cared to listen.
Things gradually changed. My friends began to understand me better. They helped me, stood in for me when necessary, and I no longer had to carry everything alone. I even started feeling stronger and healthier.
Looking back, I think one of the things that worsened my situation was my fear of showing people what I was going through. I was so concerned about appearing strong that I wasn't giving people the opportunity to understand or support me. Ever since I started sharing my story, I have felt better and even more relaxed.
Thank you for reading
Image is Ai generated