Last week I had an incident with the boyfriend of my sister. I was writing about it in the Weekend Community.

Talking about the incident helped instantly and the support and encouragement have eased my resentment.

But am I free of it? Have I not hurt people with words?

I sure have, and it is often only when being hurt ourselves that we feel the destruction.

Not only with the recipient, but also with the giver, it is destructive for both sides.

Why? you may ask. The one receiving the words is the one getting hurt.

True, but when you look deep inside yourself, has it not hurt you also when being ugly to another person? Are you really feeling good when hurting someone else?

It is a false feeling of satisfaction that may occur for a certain time but after a while you feel bad about yourself.

And then? What's next? How can you come back to a healthy state of mind?

One key is

Often people are unable to forgive, especially when being hurt emotionally.

Not just only the one who hurt them, but also themselves if they were the ones hurting.

It is healing for both sides.

While it is true that forgiveness can only happen when you are in a good state of mind, it is something we need to practice not only for others, but for ourselves.

I can be forgiven by someone, but if I don't manage to forgive myself the suffer continues.

In my stories case I choose to forgive after talking about being hurt. It maybe not have happened if I would have been in a different state of mind, but it was a conscious decision of mine.

I did so because I didn't wanted to have the negative energy wobble around anymore. It had to be my decision to begin with because I was the recipient of the negativity.

I was confident that even within the boyfriend of my sister the situation was working. That he knew he was overdoing it.

This morning I opened my door and found an apology without words.

It was an old paper bag. I opened it and a nice, warm, self baked bun was hidden inside.

It was indeed an apology without words, at least that's what I was taking it for.

Looks tasty hu? It was still warm, just out of the oven. Healthy because selfmade and with good intentions.

So by choosing forgiveness days before the bun ended up in front of my door, my morning started in a tasty way.

Sometimes apologies can happen without words, a little gesture is doing its thing as well.

If I wouldn't have been forgiving, I may wouldn't have been able to enjoy the bun. Maybe it wouldn't have been there.

The energy was cleared by forgiveness because I didn't resonated with the negativity.

I'm not saying it's easy and that I will be able to do so all the time, but the last week showed me that it was the best choice for myself and I ended up having a good, tasty morning.

©bulldog-joy