I always liked the idea of just being an observer.
Unfortunately, when it comes to human interaction, my anxieties cause my body and mind to behave in some pre-programmed ways.
It says, and behaves, in a way trying to create a safe bubble from which to perch.
Within a day, I've been chastised for being "too serious" in one setting, and "too hyper", in another.
These labels creates consternation as I understand, "Me".
When I say, "Me", I actually mean, the three of "Me".
There is the version of me, full of despair. Mr. Down.
It just wants to be isolated, looking forward to death, analyses, revealing the negative side of things around.
Then there is the super Eternal Optimist side.
That version leads to wide-eyed fascination with everything around us. It bounces around, excited, creative, exhuberant a little beyond effervescent, the source of the bubbles in mineral water and champagne.
The third part is the moderator.
The Moderator's job is to find balance between the two.
It cannot allow any one of the other two to dominate - that just leads to problems. The Moderator tries to find balance.
If a negative is found. It balances to allow the positive side to enter to find the path towards positive.
If a positive is found. It balances with the negative to find the right level of optimism, without, being disillusioned.
To be invisible, takes the anxiety away. It allows for, the three, to find the right balance within, avoiding having to waste energy on maintaining the outward optics.
In the series of Dragonlance, there is a Historian known as, Astinus.
He Chronicles the History of Krynn. He is just an observer. Neutral.
To have that clarity of purpose, to immerse, to observe, to sound out Reason. To decipher the Matrix that we live in.
That is what it would mean to become Invisible!
