Dealing with Grumps: Comedyopenmic 41

Within the next 50 or so years, I'll most likely be old and wrinkled like @idikuci is now, but before my balls shrivel up into an unrecognizable alien growth between my legs, I've decided to go after things that make me happy. Life is literally too short to dwell on things of the past, look ahead and enjoy every moment as I comes.

Last night was an epiphany for me, acclimatizing to my new environment is taking quite some time and despite finally having my own safe to use toilet and space to think, my body caved in and explicably fell ill. Its nothing too serious if I'm being honest, compared to people like @sharanaithal suffering with brain damage and the "little dick" issue that's kept @doomsdaychassis down, I don't think I have much to complain about. Anyways, the point is, there's nothing wrong with having a little fun every now and if you ever find yourself around a grump like @skiwzz who derives sexual pleasure in making everything weird, then this is for you.

Understanding grumps is the first step needed to fix their mental issue. One has to empathize with these sort of individuals, understand the reason for their grumpiness and you'll know the mitigating steps to take. The first step is deciphering what type of grump you're dealing with; the most common type of grump are those with a 6-10inch pole stuck all the way up their ass(no homo). You have to ask yourself "how will I be if @take5's head was up my ass?" When you consider dealing with these sort of individuals. A surgical operation is the only way to solve this problem, especially if you find one with his/her head stuck up their ass.

The curious case of the grumps isn't restricted to butt hole congestion, one peculiar case is occupation related. If it weren't for alcohol, I'd have found myself in this category. This case of the grumps comes from over indulgence in one's "job". We could say its the unwritten work hazard common with the intelligentsia and men of the armed forces. The best way to solve it is with a blowjob or a sudden injection of alcohol into the individuals blood stream. So if you're not @amirtheawesome1 then a pub will do.

The final class of grumps are the " I'm better than you" grumps. Now these guys are the most complicated of the lot. Whereas it is relatively easy to take the stick or "book" out the ass of the previous two, these guys have no pattern and are grumps simply because. They're a tedious bunch. You'd often find them talking rudely to individuals and screaming "do your fucking job" with every opportunity they get. A quality slap across the individual's face usually solves this problem but due to the potential wrist damage, it is adviced you pay a soldier to do it instead then have a drink with him afterwards to get the book out his/her ass.

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