I'm not sure how many corners exist in my mind, just that there's more than I can count. In each, I've neatly stacked boxes containing various items, the parts of myself: Thoughts and fears, memories happy and sad, attitudes, hopes and dreams and things I'll never talk about. It's an odd and eclectic collection, but it's my collection, and has been gathered over a lifetime.
Sometimes I peek into those corners randomly and other times I go in search of something specific. Today was the latter, I went in search of memories of my parents as individuals and as the intrinsic part of my life they've been. Truthfully, they don't just have a corner, they sort of permeate every corner, but either way, I enjoy searching for them, the feelings I have when sifting through the memories and the way it helps me realign myself for another tilt at the present and future.
I took some flowers to their gravesites and thanked them for being my parents, helping me become who I am, then moved on to search the corners of my mind once again.
The picture was taken by me
I was thinking about myself, where I came from, how and, more specifically, I was thinking about my sense of self. I suppose that could be called my essence, my source or maybe just my identity.
I believe it's more than a physical sense as my essence, who I am, derives from my mind and the thoughts it creates. It's what my mind suggests, the thoughts, that lead me upon the paths I take and it's that which ultimately writes my story.
All of the actions I take, the conversations, attitudes and events in life derive in my mind and it's those combined that feed back into the corners of my mind as memories. The cycle is never ending as those events, the moments of my life and their memories, that form into more thoughts, emotions and expectations which cause yet more events and memories.
My sense of self is a continual process and it changes as life and time unfolds. It is fluid, as changing as life itself. People come and go, as do fears, loves, hates, desires, certainty and uncertainty, happiness and sadness...It's ever changing. The constant is memories though, and it's memories drawn from the corners of my mind that made me smile today and gave me a sense of self and some forward motion.
Becca 💗
