What have you been told by others and what have you seen with your own eyes, what have your ears heard and your mouth tasted, your nose smelled? What have you remembered and forgotten and in what have you succeeded and failed, felt and caused others to feel? All of these things encompass you, they are you. They all reside inside somewhere to be drawn upon as experience to bring thoughts and attitudes and to recall as memories good or bad - they influence the present and future.
I took this image
I woke today feeling generally happy although I knew I'd be spending the day alone and that tinged my happiness with...longing.
I made breakfast, vanilla yoghurt with granola sprinkled on it and an orange tea and pondered my thoughts of longing, and the subject of that longing. I'm happy with my own company, and I had a few things planned but sometimes the presence of the right person just make things better.
I try to fill my life with positive thoughts and experiences which helps me feel more comfortable, in control of how I feel and that my life moves with intent rather than by accident. That doesn't mean I'm not spontaneous, it just means that I like to enjoy my life and work towards shaping it in ways that allow me to do so. But I woke this morning feeling a little...umm...half-empty I suppose some might say.
I went about my day, a little shopping for groceries, bought a present for myself in the shape of a beautiful scented candle and a light lunch and a coffee and felt better for it. Doing things helped that sense of longing and, dare I say it, loneliness.
Over my coffee, which you see pictured here, I thought on my feelings and the more I did so the more I came to realise that the feelings I had, every feeling I've ever had, is simply another layer to me and my life - It's essential to my life also.
It doesn't matter if it's good or bad feeling, each have value in some way and each shape and influence the moments of time that make up my life, now and into the future. It's the same with the experiences and other things I mention in my opening paragraph. Everything about my life is me and that thought made me question the saying about having the ability to see things as, glass half empty of glass half full.
The phrase indicates that we have the choice to see things with different perspectives, and that's completely true of course; however, I'm not sure if half full or half empty is relevant.
Life is simply whatever it was in the past, is in the present and will be in the future all combined and we can certainly influence it with our thoughts, but I prefer not to think of myself as half full or empty. Rather, I'm simply a vessel that has the capacity to accept those life-things which occur in a stream of thoughts and experiences, some inbound and others outbound in an endless cycle of...life.
I don't want to think of myself as empty or full, there's always more life can take from me, and there's always more I can add.
I'm everything.
Becca 馃挆
