This morning I woke with a powerful urge to consume the flesh of my dear neighbour Torsten. I broke in to his house at about quarter past six and lifted him out of his bed using my newly developed demon strength (he weighs about 16 stone!). Then as he hovered in the air still wrapped in a blue floral bedsheet, I began to extract all the blood from his body using the unholy power of my blackened soul while humming Hall of the Mountain King to myself. Poor Torsten awoke in terrible distress and on seeing my face, red and scaled with protruding horns and shard-like teeth, my mouth wide, forked tongue lashing at the stream of flesh blood which made its way through the air from his rapidly depleting body, he began to scream; 'Basil, Please! How could you do this!'
'You're right' I said 'How uncommonly rude of me, I should use a glass'
And so I raised one clawed hand and brought in to existence a most exquisite receptable carved from the crystallised skull of Vlad the Impaler which I proceeded to fill with the blood of dear Torsten. He is gone now. Most assuredly dead. I tied his deflated body between two trees and used it as a hammock, swinging gently in the breeze and sipping at my morbid mocktail.
If you would like to try this recipe at home I can thoroughly recommend a slice of lemon for added zip and a sprig of celery to keep things healthy.
R.I.P. Torsten (I do miss him, but in all honesty, it was worth it for this splendid refreshment)
Yours
As Ever
DemonLord ToothyHands
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