Hello steemians!

I want to share with you an insight that I found as a young father.
I have 2 cute children, boy and girl. They are twins. They are super lovely, but sometime they need boundaries like every child (and adult) in our world.
I have difficulties with boundaries. I found myself always try to push the boundaries, and it also very hard to be consistent when you need to discipline your child. But I think boundaries is very important and we need to put them. And now I'll tell you why, and how, according to my own opinion, of course.

The hard truth about our reality

So, we live in a world that works with limited resources. We have limited time. We can be only in one place at a time. We also have limited energy (We need to sleep sometimes... ahhmmm...) THAT'S THE REALITY. That's the truth! And we have nothing to do about it. Period.

We can achieve great goals in our (short) lives. We can create beautiful things. We can learn a lot (the brain capacity is almost endless). But it all depends on one main principle - the boundaries. We have to respect that principle, or we'll find ourself thrown on the ground, poor and wounded.

A painter, that create fantastic piece of art, that express the infinite soul, the freedom... must know the rules. He must know that the canvas has specifiec size. He must know that the oil colors have specifiec characteristics. And he must appreciate all of that. It all about respect the boundaries, and then the reality is yours. It may be hard at first, but a great gift at last.
Here a paint that my neighbour Tamar Rund made. That landscape is where I live.

My job as a father

When I mediate the world to my lovely children, I have to tell them what the world is like. What there is, and what there isn't. What is possible, and what impossible. Because they don't know. They see the world from my eyes, as I tell it to them. I'm the first story teller in their life, in their paradigm on everything.
That why I have to put them boundaries. It's not because I have to be cruel or aggressive to them. I don't even need to shout or give punishments. I just need to tell them the truth. It's my duty.

When my son want something that not exist, or when he ask me to do something that I can't - It easy to me to resist. I don't have a choice. But the things going harder when he ask me something that I can but I don't want. In that case it may be a war.
I think that there's no reason to war. We can tell everything as a matter of reality. The same point as I can't get him the moon, even I'll try hard - I also don't want now to give him a candy (for example). It's a fact.
Children can respects facts, once they understand that the situation and there's nothing to do about it. I think the solution to all the conflicts with our children is to be clear to ourselves and then to them about what we want, and what we decide. Remember - we are the story-tellers, we tell them what is the reality. We can kiss them on a wound when they cry, and suddenly they are happy again. We also can tell them that they can't get candy right now, and they'll understand that.

My technique to not get into arguments

I don't think we need to waste a lot of time and energies on arguments with our children. Every time that we found ourselves argue a lot we can stop it and ask ourselves what we really want now and then tell it to our son, as a presentation of reality. We don't to lie to him, like tell him that he can't do something just because we don't him to do it. No. We can tell him that the situation is that we decide to not let him that thing, and it's not open to argue, and that's the situation.
After the clear statement of telling the situation, it good to suggest him to do something by his own to feel good. For example: If it's time to go to sleep, you can tell your son: Now it's time to go to sleep, that's the situation. But you can choose to go by yourself and I'll come to sing for you lullaby, or I'll take you by hand to the bad and I'll get out of the room.
It's not matter what he choose, whether do it fine or not fine, the situation will be the same - sleep time. If you will deliever this message clearly, he will understand that the reality is like that and he will get that. After he understand the point, he may prefer to do it in his way than do it your (hard) way.

Good luck!