Last night, I was chatting in the PAL discord, and we were talking about creative stuff, mostly writing of various kinds. Part of the discussion was about the difficulties that we sometimes have with our own writing, things like motivation to write, writer's block, etc. After a bit of conversation, it occurred to me that what I was writing in chat might be useful for a post, so I copied my part of the conversation and saved it. The following is most of what I copied from the chat, the parts that I wrote that I think would stand on their own. It's a bit of an insight to my thought process about writing music, and anything else creative, really.
I used to write songs when I was depressed all the time. I don't write very well unless I'm depressed, and since I don't want to be depressed anymore, that comes with the side effect of not having that depression creativity with song writing. When I try to write happy songs, they usually suck...
I recently wrote half of an angry song, just to see what would happen.
It wasn't really very angry...
One of my problems with writing is deciding what to write about. It's the same with my other creative endeavors, I don't always have an idea to start from.
And then, there's the question I sometimes ask myself...why bother? It's a simple question with a complex answer...
I have to ask myself, does writing music feed my soul? Does playing music feed my soul?
I cannot always answer yes to those questions. It is part of my lingering background clinical depression that is never quite completely gone.
So there's a bit of a look into the inner workings of my brain. My creativity tends to run in streaks, mostly regulated by my level of depression at any given time. I go up and down a bit, but it seems like there's always a bit of background depression floating around in the back of my brain to affect my thought processes. Summer time is generally much better than winter, so at least there is that.
I know this isn't one of my usual posts, but it did seem to be a subject that was worth writing about.
That's all I have for this post, thanks for stopping by to read it!
Gratuitous cat picture. There's a chipmunk in the live trap...
