The Unfolding Meaning of Jade Gemstones in My Life

Something that still mystifies me about my childhood was my fascination with the color green. I constantly daydreamed of landscapes and forest fields bursting with different shades of green. Most of my drawings and homework assignments were written with green markers and colored pencils. I became obsessed with scanning for the color green in my line of vision at all times. When I saw green, it helped me feel calm and at peace inside myself.

When I didn't detect any hint of green in a painting or in my general field of view, I would become paralyzed and go into panic attack mode, feeling a sense of danger and uneasiness that I couldn't fully make sense of at the time. When I reached my late teens, this childhood obsession and anxiety faded. Shades of purple and blue have become a few of my favorite colors. Yet the natural and tranquilizing qualities of green still hit deep. Interestingly enough, the 3 cars I've owned in my life so far all happen to be green. I often muse about this, since I never put an intention in to find a green car when I was looking for a car.

My love for green is probably why I have such a natural affinity for the jade gemstone. Growing up, my grandma and I mostly communicated nonverbally. We found commonality in ooh'ing and ahhh'ing over the green, lavender and orange jade stones, bracelets, and pendants in her jewelry collections and in the stores of Chinatown, Oakland. My favorite jades were the ones that were light green, and almost translucent.

My grandma would tell me how jade calms disturbances, and how it emulates a purifying, gentle, soothing energy. Yet it also symbolizes integrity and strength with its almost impenetrable hardness. From fashioning tools and weapons with jade to using it to treat illness and pain, jade is a mineral ritualized and celebrated among many cultures. In particular, jade has been deeply entrenched in Chinese culture for more than seven thousand years, where it was prized more than silver and gold. Here's a brief excerpt from a article by Harvard Art Museum on early Chinese jades:

The process of jade working is not simple: composed of the minerals nephrite and jadeite, jade has a degree of hardness that rivals steel, so it must be cut and shaped with extremely hard abrasives. In the ancient world, jade was worked by hand over long periods of time, which added to both the value and desirability of these unique objects. It also made them likely to be well cared for and preserved; it is not uncommon for ancient jades to appear like new, thousands of years after artisans worked them into forms.

This morning, I woke up thinking about how much I appreciate the jade gemstone. Putting on my favorite jade necklace and earrings, I looked at myself in the mirror and something came to mind that I've never thought before: "Amber Jade Yang."

Changing my name has never been of much interest to me. Yet somehow this morning, I considered the possibility of having Jade be in my name somewhere, whether it be my first name or middle name. I've grown to like "Amber" as my first name, especially when I think of the rich, warm hues of the amber gemstone. Yet there's something about the meaning and the sound of the word Jade that strikingly resonates with me.

This year, I've been feeling curious to try on new identities and ways of being in ways I haven't before. There's something about what my housemate Shakti says, where she talks about keeping things "above the line." She clarified this by recently sharing how we often focus on our past, and the painful things we had to experience and process in order to grow and evolve. Yet instead of what happened in the past to be our baseline of who we are, what if who we are in the present moment is the starting point to what's next? What if our line of attention starts with what we are creating and elevating in our lives now, and not what we are healing or how we're transforming the past? What might we attract with this change in perspective?

I feel quite aligned with this as I live through the last years of my 20s. I've spent a lot of time examining and processing my past traumas. Even though this life will be a lifelong journey of letting go and shedding layers of conditioned beliefs, I'm ready to start creating new beliefs. New stories. New relationships. New ways to express myself.

Maybe that means a name change. We'll see.