Keep my movements safe [ENG/ESP]

Throughout these years I have been a person who had a lot of confidence in everything around me, but as the days went by I began to notice coincidences that no longer made sense to me and I realized that something was wrong.

Every time I told my friends about something that was going to happen to me or a project I had in my hands, it would fall, literally everything was ruined. At first I thought I was doing badly because I was probably not doing too well or because it was not for me what I wanted so much and what I was working for.

The typical phrases of “good luck” or “that's good” along with a small grin, (of course it was not good) to then really smile and say “too bad”, “It will be another thing”, was like the piece of the puzzle that came in and gave me to understand that it made them happy that I was not doing well. Even though I knew what the situation was like, it was hard for me to understand why or simply to understand that there are people like that and it seemed that they didn't care, but I did and it hurt.

In the end one learns to keep quiet about many things and this decision should not be normal, but it is. Every project you have in mind about anything, you can't go around telling everyone how happy you are. Not everyone is going to want to see us well and no matter how many smiles they give us, our own shine is always going to bother others.

Talking about each movement entails an extra effort to take care of it and it is not so sure of a favorable result. You can call it a question of logic and/or energy, I do not know, each person will always resonate differently to their situation, but I do know that each movement is part of me, they are by and for me and if I do not take care of them and direct them where I want, they end up ruined.

I feel that it shouldn't have to be like that, there shouldn't have to be people who only seek the evil of one, we shouldn't have to be guarding certain things so that they happen well or simply happen.

So, even with the pain and disappointment, I understood that there are people who are like that and I should keep them away from me, that I should analyze well to whom I am going to comment on my movements, who will walk with me in good times and bad, who will support me in front of me and my back. This has made my environment shrink and that's good because I feel good and safer. Staying with those kind of toxic people only contaminate our life and obviously our steps.

! [SPANISH VERSION]

A lo largo de estos años he sido una persona que tenía mucha confianza en todo su entorno, pero con el pasar de los días se empezaron a notar casualidades que ya no tenían sentido para mi y me di cuenta que algo estaba mal.

Cada vez que yo le contaba a mis amigos de algo que iba a pasarme o un proyecto que tenía entre mis manos, se caía, literalmente todo se arruinaba. Al principio creía que me iba mal porque seguro no lo estaba haciendo bien o porque no era para mi eso que tanto quería y por el cual trabajaba.

Las típicas frases de “que te vaya bien” o “que bueno” junto con una pequeña mueca de sonrisa, (claro estaba que no era bueno) para luego sonreír realmente y decir “que mal”, “otra cosa será”, fue como la pieza del rompecabezas que entró justo y me dió a entender que les hacía feliz que no me fuera bien. A esto, por más que ya sabía cómo era la situación, me costaba entender el por qué o simplemente entender que haya personas así y pareciese que no les importaba, pero a mi si y dolía.

Al final uno aprende que debe callar muchas cosas y no tendría que ser normal está decisión, pero lo es. Cada proyecto que se tenga en mente sobre cualquier cosa, no se puede ir contando a todo el mundo muy contento. No todos van a querer vernos bien y por más sonrisas que nos den, el brillo propio siempre va a molestar a otros.

El hablar cada movimiento conlleva a un esfuerzo extra de cuidado del tal y no es tan seguro su resultado favorable. Se lo puede llamar cuestión de lógica y/o energía, no sé, a cada persona siempre le resonará diferente a su situación, pero si se que cada movimiento es parte de mi, son por y para mi y si no los cuido y los dirijo a donde quiero, terminan arruinados.

Siento que no tendría que ser así, no tendrían que existir personas que solo buscan el mal de uno, no tendríamos que estar resguardando ciertas cosas para que ocurran bien o simplemente ocurran.

Entonces, aún con el dolor y la decepción, entendí que hay personas que son así y debo tenerlas lejos de mi, que debo analizar bien a quien le voy a comentar sobre mis movimientos, quién caminará conmigo en las buenas y malas, quien me apoyará en frente de mi y a mi espalda. Esto ha hecho que mi entorno se reduzca y eso está bien porque yo me siento bien y más segura. Quedarnos con ese tipo de personas tóxicas solo contaminan nuestra vida y obviamente nuestros pasos.