I Am Not Made For You
I never thought you could behave this way after giving you all the attention needed. How then would you want me to believe your words after jilting me? I even tried my best to take you in just because of the best relationship we have had before now and yet you deceived me once again. You told me you have nothing to do with Jemima, but coming to think of the way you gazed at her this afternoon gave me the impression of still having something left for him in your heart.
I love to follow my words and my heart but not when someone has taken me for granted. So many attempts to accept your proposal which took me years to believe in your kindness thinking you have changed but was just a filthy one.
How can you even dare to face me when you know deep down in you that you have fumbled?
I only tried to make you look inward by giving you all my totalities and by making you feel comfortable. I never tried to find other guys but I was just satisfied with you, but with what you have done to me, I can never forgive this day.
You should know the way Jemima treated you when you were not having a dime. She never cared for you, instead cared for the money you have. I have a love for you deep down in me, but Jemima had deceit instead of loving you. She was never a match for you and you confessed it yourself.
Jones responded to all I had been saying and his response was so annoying.
Did you think I could leave you for Jemima? What I was looking at was a different direction but not hers. I think you were thinking the other way instead of coming inward. So, remove your thoughts from what you have deep inside of your mind.
How could you even say words that are not genuine? Even the blond can see what you were looking at. Don't you know that you have not changed at all? I have been trying to cope with you thinking that you have hanged and at least have something left in your heart for me, but with your actions, you have none.
You only come to my house just to make me feel at home but were carried away by your ex. I think at this junction, you have to tell Jemima what you feel for her or better still, call her back. I'm not made for you. You should go back to her since you still feel a burning fire deep for her.
Mind you, I'm not saying this out of jealousy but out of my mind. I'm only pained that I have fallen for you and the deeper side of my heart is all for you. All that would be in the past now and I have to move on with my life.
Jones replied to me in a cold voice,
The only fire I have left in me and the one burning intensely deep inside of me is yours. You are right he owner of my whole life.
Within some moment, I saw the ocean moving in a meandering form but in a section up his face. I was so afraid that he might just be pretending with the series of water drops from his face.
Within me, I was smiling and at the same time questioning myself if I can still go ahead with the relationship. We have gone too far to break up, but Jones could not understand this fact. Although, I don't know if I'm the one who does not understand him or if he was the one in a state of disdain. So far, we have come to refresh our relationship. I don't want to be the one to cry and now that he is crying bitterly, I think I should reconsider. But I want to still see the great ride that has formed on his face and the ones still yet to form. It gives me joy seeing him in this state.
Jones!!! I called him with a sweet voice that always gave him morale.
Immediately he heard my call, he raised his head and in fact, it was so full of flowing water. Even when you drop a bucket, it would not be enough to gather the water his eyes were holding.
How can I quench the fire of pain within my Jones? It was a painful try to have made him cry and not just that but weep.
Jones was so excited to hear me call his name. It was now I discovered that he truly loved me so much. Deep inside of me, I'm on fire for his love and wouldn't want it to die down. I was just pretending to be annoyed but deep inside of me still want him.
I called him again with the same calm voice and just as the normal voice he so much cherished, "Jones".
He raised his head once again and looked me in the eyes. He said,
I am not in my senses right now and all I need is you. You are the only one made for me. Jemima is just not my type ever since she rejected me. She thought I would not make it in life, but seeing me great was a second thought to her. Please, I love you so much and I wouldn't want to miss you. Please, forgive me. I wasn't truly looking at her but was gazing in another direction. Please, forgive me…
Get up, my love.
Immediately he heard me say "my love", he was revived. He hugged me and was so happy to have seen me forgive him
