Faking it, to living it

Alicia scrolled through her bank statement and gave a delighted smirk. She echoed the words her former best friend had said in her face; “If you fake it, you will live it”

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Eva had been one extravagantly extravagant person. No amount had ever been too scary for her to transfer for an item, no matter how small. Alicia couldn't blame her, she had handsome men who were ready to wire money into her account on a whim.

Her wealthy, single dad too was ready to sponsor her lavish lifestyle, she was all he had, especially since her older brother took his life savings and vanished into thin air.

Alicia had been the first of four children, she had lived from the crumbs of rich men's tables where she had scrubbed, served, been accused of stealing decade-old pottery, and tossed back into the streets like an urchin.

She had met Eva in the bookstore where she was working. To her, Eva's reading habit was the only thing that couldn't intimidate Alicia about her because she didn't care about books and as far as she was concerned, she never would.

Eva had been her savior, the princess in a chariot who loved and took her in, sprinkling butterflies in the dry land of her life. She had taken Alicia to the cinema for the first time, got her designer dresses and shoes, and paid for expensive hairdos for both of them.

Alicia was careful at first not to get too used to the luxury but what could she do? Eva kept urging her to go somewhere with her, promising to get her precious items if she complied. And Alicia did.

Soon Eva began asking her to “wait outside while I get a few stuffs”, reducing the amount she spent on Alicia. Alicia couldn't complain then, no, her mother had warned her never to feel entitled when it came to money. But then Alicia began to feel insignificant, Eva had found some girls in her social class, suddenly paying little attention to her.

The most amazing thing about these girls was that two of them didn't have money. They went around with fancy hairdos and designer outfits but they always complained about being broke. They never had money to pay for their share of the drinks. Alicia learned the term “window shopping” from them because they never got anything when Alicia went to shop.

“Why do you hang out with those losers? They barely have money for anything!” Alicia had asked Eva one day.

“This is why you cannot be in our league, Eva. You don't understand that having money isn't about having cash, it's about having the right attitude.”

Alicia had felt a sting behind her eyes but she bit her lower lip hard to avoid tears, feeling the warm taste of blood seep through her teeth.

“So, what is the right attitude?” Eva took two steps towards her and bent her head in that way Alicia found really annoying,

“If you fake it, eventually, you will live it”.

That had been her mantra since then. When she got her salary the next month, she didn't head over to the grocery store to get food for her family like she always did, she headed over to the boutique where Eva shopped and picked as much as a thousand dollars could afford her.

When her mother turned questioning eyes to her, she pursed her lips and raised her brows, daring her to say whatever she had on her mind.

The month after that, she made sure she had her hair done expensively and got a manicure and facials as well.

“Is everything okay?” Tonia, the red haired who was born a year after her asked.

She had simply shrugged, dismissing the question with a lift of her shoulders. Her mother came up to her next, asking if they had offended her, by this time she had stopped getting groceries or supplies altogether.

“It's my money mom, I can do whatever I like with it. Tonia is of age now, She too can take up the responsibility”

It didn't matter that Tonia was paying her college bills, Alicia had never wanted her to go to college anyway, if it was too difficult, she could drop out or take a loan.

As for her, she was done living for others. She would fake it until she could live it, which was why she didn't bother when her account read 100 dollars.

She owed Patra at the salon 500 dollars, and Old Chris at the bakery almost a thousand dollars for the cakes she got for dessert every day but it didn't matter to her, she was getting the life she craved even if it was at the expense of everything she held dear.


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