Family is a wonderful thing. Your family would always be there for you through thick and thin and would never abandon you. Motivational speakers! If only that were a fact.
There is more to family than sharing biological ties. Life has a way of teaching us valuable lessons, and the one above is one that I learned a few years ago.
Being rejected by your family is the worst thing that can happen to anyone. Well, maybe not the worst, but for someone like me who values family, rejection by a loved one is difficult to bear.
When I first got my job, I was living in Port Harcourt. The job required me to relocate to Delta State, specifically Asaba. I am from Delta State, but I have never lived there before. My father moved a lot, so I grew up everywhere except Delta. When the job offer came and I was informed that I would have to relocate to Delta State, I had no reason to be concerned about accommodation because my maternal aunt and cousin both lived in Delta State. It came down to deciding who to stay with. My mother suggested I live with my aunt rather than my cousin, who was the same age as me but married.
I called my aunt and told her the good news. She was overjoyed and told me how to get to her house once I arrived in Asaba. The plan was for me to live with her for the duration of my six-month induction training.
My aunt's house was a long distance from my training center. Every morning, I left the house by 5 a.m. because training began at 6 a.m. and I had to be on ground before the instructors or face punishment. I left my aunt's without eating breakfast every morning. She didn't care what I ate or how I got to work every day.
This isn't a case of me feeling entitled. We are all family, right? Family is supposed to check in on you. Every evening at 7 p.m., I return home, tired and exhausted from standing for more than 8 hours in the hot sun, only to find dinner not yet ready. My aunty was well aware of how stressful the training was for me, but she would always wait for me to return home and prepare dinner. By the time I am done with dinner, I am too tired to eat, so I'll just go to bed and sleep it off.
This went on for two weeks. While I assumed my aunt was enjoying my stay because I was assisting her with dinner and laundry, I had no idea she despised my presence. My aunty called another aunty and complained bitterly about how I expose the family to danger every morning by leaving home by 5 a.m.She claimed her husband had stopped eating her food and sleeping with her because of the stranger she brought in. To her, I was a stranger. To me, she was family.
Fortunately for me, my brother paid a visit to the aunty she had called, and he overheard the conversation and called me to share the new-found information. Knowing that my aunt would tell such lies about me broke my heart. Her husband ate her food and slept in the same bed with her every day for the two weeks I was there. I was very disappointed, and I decided to leave the house the next day. I'd rather be homeless than be the cause of her divorce.
I called my cousin in the same city and told her about my predicament. She felt sorry for me but told me she wouldn't take me in because she doesn't want many people in her home.
That's when I realized I was going to be homeless. I'd rather be on the streets than with people who despise guts. My world was crumbling in front of my eyes, and for the first time, I felt helpless. I don't have enough money to rent an apartment. I've only been in town for two weeks, and I know no one.
I decided to go to church and tell them about my situation. Fortunately for me, an elderly couple who lived near my training center invited me to live with them. I had no prior knowledge of this family, but I was willing to take the risk. They sent a driver over to pick me up from my aunt's place and transport me to theirs that same evening. My aunt didn't care that I was leaving.
This was how I found another family, the Okonne's. They took me in, and I dare to say that the six months I lived with them were the best six months of my life after graduation. Every morning before I left for training and every evening before I returned, food was ready. The children didn't make me feel uncomfortable. We became like siblings and did everything together.
After 11 years, life brought us all together in Lagos. People in Lagos believe we are related because of how we interact with one another. Mrs. Okonne is regarded as one of my baby's grandmothers.
“Family is not confined by the ties of blood, but rather by the bonds of love and loyalty.”
When you have the opportunity to lend a helping hand, do so, and don't dismiss the person because you don't share any biological ties.
