Sometime last month, my office conducted a personnel audit that required everyone's presence at the state headquarters regardless of your location. The head office is quite some distance from where I live and to arrive on time, I needed to leave at dawn. This posed a significant challenge because I have a one year old baby with me. I reached out to a friend and a colleague who had a car and she agreed to take me along. On the way, we also picked up another colleague.
The moment she entered the car, she started talking non-stop. It was not even 6 a.m yet but she just wouldn't stop. She kept going on and on about things that are of no consequential benefit or importance to us. I couldn't believe a human being could talk that much without breathing. For the entire length of the journey, I am not sure she spent two minutes with her mouth shut. Within two hours, I had learnt everything about her marriage and work station. It was amazing and irritating at the same time.
A German proverb says, "Silence is the fence around wisdom. If your foot slips, you can always regain balance but if your tongue slips, you can never rebuild your image again."
This is a true saying. Speaking too much can trap you in its flow. When you speak a lot in a gathering, you will feel compelled to keep talking because it gives this false belief that you might be perceived as boring if you stop. Before you know it, you are oversharing information, making inappropriate jokes and revealing things that ought to stay secret.
Talking too much doesn't mean you are heard. It doesn't make people acknowledge your presence. It doesn't make you an entertaining person. Sometimes, people need silence. For it is in silence the mind is able to function and thoughts are processed more effectively. Silence allows you to listen to your inner thoughts. Silence directs you and allows you to think out solutions or better ways of handling situations.
Sometimes it may be difficult to know when to speak and when to keep silent. There may have been times when you spoke up just because you felt it was the right thing to do but it landed you in trouble and there may also have been times when you stayed silent only to regret your actions later. It can be a messy situation.
Before you speak, think of your words. Words have great impacts. Our words have the power to heal and destroy. Our words have the power to bring peace and cause war. Those words, are they better left unsaid? Stay silent!
Stay silent when you have nothing to say. Don't speak because others are speaking or because you want to be perceived as having an opinion too. Silence is not a sign of shame. If you have nothing substantial to say, it is better to stay silent and listen to others. Staying silent can improve your listening skills, allowing you to better understand and possibly learn something new from the conversation.
Stay silent when you are very emotional.
When we are emotional we tend to say things driven more by feelings than by reasons. Such words can destroy a relationship. It's best to keep silent and allow your emotions to settle. Once settled, you can then speak from a place of logic rather than impulse.
Stay silent when what you want to say is better left unsaid.
Oftentimes, people are tempted to share information that ought to be private just to fit in with a group . There is no need to speak when no one has asked for your opinion. There is no point revealing secrets such as your husband's bedroom skills just to make your friends jealous. Some things when left unsaid saves us from a lot of trouble.
Stay silent when you do not have all the facts
It's a very natural response to take sides when we hear an emotional story. Every story is told from the storyteller's point of view. The story told may or may not be the actual fact of what happened. It's always good to listen to both parties first and think about the situation before having something to say.
Be silent when people share personal struggles
People can come to you to share their personal struggles. It can be tempting to want to let them know they aren't the only ones passing through such by sharing your own personal struggles. You may not realize it but such an act is making light of the demon they are fighting. In situations like this, silence is better. All they need is a listening ear and empathy not an opinion.
Staying silent can be very beneficial. If we all can learn when to stay silent and when to speak, there will be fewer misunderstandings and better relationships with others.
