#punchline

Haven't logged in here for a while so decided to check it out. Definitely splintered compared to the simple steemmonster days. How deliberately convoluted can that thing be, yikes. Card sales, rentals,

​Test

Cooking for teenagers is like trying to fill a black hole with a spoon. I blink and suddenly everything in the fridge is gone. I swear I just went grocery shopping. Where did the five-pound bag of chicken

In our house, WiFi is not just an internet connection. It is a battleground. A sacred resource. A modern-day gold rush. And every single member of the family believes they are the rightful heir to the

I am the proud owner of a couple of teenagers who firmly believe I need life coaching. From them. The same people who think pizza rolls count as a food group and consider brushing their hair optional.

There was a time when my kids used to hang on my every word. Granted, they were toddlers and mostly interested in whether I had snacks or a Band-Aid, but still. Now that they’re teenagers, our main form

Not a picture of my actual teen... they look far worse. I love my kids. Truly. But when it comes to their fashion choices, I sometimes wonder if they are actively trying to test the limits of my patience.

Teaching my kids to drive has been the most terrifying bonding experience of my life. I thought childbirth was stressful. I thought potty training was intense. But nothing compares to sitting in the passenger

​ It was supposed to be a peaceful walk. Just me, the leash, and our dog who is usually more focused on sniffing blades of grass than chasing squirrels. I was wearing my comfy walking shoes, sipping my

I have discovered a hidden talent. I do not need to put in any effort. I do not need to plan ahead. I embarrass my teenagers simply by existing. It is a gift. I used to think embarrassment required effort.

​ I am convinced my teenagers have a black hole in their stomachs. There is no other logical explanation for the way food vanishes in this house. I go grocery shopping, unload the bags, and before I can

​ Applying for college financial aid is like stepping into a game show where the grand prize is debt and the consolation prize is also debt. I thought the hardest part of the college process would be the

I used to think I was a pretty sharp parent. I mean I made it through college I can set up a WiFi router and I know how to parallel park. Surely I could stay one step ahead of my own children. But then

​ Just when I thought I had accepted my fate as an outsider in the ever-changing world of teen slang, my kids upped the ante. They have now introduced a new level of communication that relies not just

​ There was a time when I felt pretty cool. I knew all the latest trends. I understood pop culture references. I could carry on a conversation without feeling like I needed a translator. Then my kids became

​ There are few things more terrifying than walking into a teenager’s room and seeing the state of their laundry. It is as if they believe clothing belongs in three places: on their body, on the floor,

Watching sports with teenagers is a test of patience, endurance, and your ability to decipher what on earth they are yelling at the screen. I naively thought family sports nights would be a bonding experience.

​ Every so often, I gather my teenagers, load them into the car, and embark on the grand journey to visit their grandparents. You would think I was dragging them to a medieval torture chamber rather than

Once upon a time, my kids could sit through an entire movie without moving. It was a magical era when they would curl up on the couch, eyes glued to the screen, barely blinking. I could have set off fireworks

​ There comes a time in every parent’s life when their teenager decides they are ready to become a millionaire. For my kids, this realization struck after they saw a TikTok video about investing. Suddenly,