The Comedy Rumble:- It wasn't me!

It is no longer news in this community that I was a stubborn child while I was growing up. Although I expect this community to keep my secret safe.

Giphy
I thank God I found Jesus and now I am just stubborn in a mature way. But don't try me because I can easily forget that I'm an adult and deal with you.

My mother said I was the child that gave her the most trouble amongst my siblings. Although I still feel like those were allegations because I can't remember doing those things. It's either I suffered infantile amnesia or someone else did that in my body without my knowledge or consent.

My mother said as a child I loved puff puff. Puff puff is a type of snack made with the same ingredients as bread but smaller and prepared in a different way. She said I always asked daddy to buy puff puff on his way back from work. On this day, daddy came home and as usual we ran out to welcome him but his hands were empty. No puff puff. Mummy also came out to greet daddy and apparently, her hug gave him a boner and on seeing the bulge in his trouser, I told my other siblings that daddy hid the puff puff in his trouser and that we should get it. You ought to have seen how my dad tried to convince us that that was no puff puff.

I was the reason my mother started counting the number of meats and fishes she adds to her pot of soup. I wonder why. Someone can not playfully open the pot and taste the food her mother cooked again. I remember one fateful night, everyone had gone to bed, except me since I had a mission to execute.

Giphy
I tiptoed to the kitchen and silently opened the pot of soup and with a spoon, I picked a piece of meat and threw it into my mouth.

I closed my eyes as I chewed the meat savouring the divine flavour not knowing that my mother had seen and followed me. All these while, she stood by the door watching me. The next thing I heard was a knock on my head. The cover of the pot fell from my head as I turned to face my mother. I didn't know if to spit the meat out or swallow it. I leave to your imagination the punishment that followed.

I grew up counting the meat and fish I intend cooking with before cooking with them even though I lived alone. Not like I don't trust myself but there could be human rats living with me. One can never be too careful.

Giphy
When I was in primary school, I was a finder's keeper. I don't steal these pencils but if you keep them carelessly, I would help you keep them safely in my bag. It's just the teacher fails to appreciate these good deeds and often rewards me with strokes of cane. This was why I now learnt to write my name on each pencil or pen I find. If it's yours then prove it. You should be happy I'm nice enough to lend you when you need it 😜😜

Just so you know, I'm all grown up and different now but my love for meat still remains the same, should I visit you.