Some believe first love never dies, but not everyone gets to spend a lifetime with their first romantic connection. While February is often hailed as the month of love, it found me in June, amidst rain-soaked skies and tear-soaked earth. Strangely, it seemed like the perfect time to embrace love—a warm presence on chilly nights is truly indescribable.
They say the most genuine love is the one that catches you off guard. In my case, it happened when I least expected it. On a chilly night in the school hall, I was engrossed in reading until a young boy surprised me with popcorn and an engaging conversation that kept my tired eyes awake.
Night after night, it became a ritual. Joshua consistently joined me in the night class, bringing popcorn and a bottle of drink. His funny jokes provided a delightful break from studying, and gradually, he found his way into my heart, sparking a flutter of butterflies in my stomach.
Joshua and I became inseparable, spending our days and most evenings together. Our cherished spot was beneath a cashew tree in a farm behind the hostels—crazy, right? We would sit there, sharing conversations about everything. One memorable moment involved Joshua climbing the tree to pluck ripe cashews to entertain our taste buds. Oh! Sweet memories.
I recall our first kiss vividly. Joshua and I had spent three months together without any intimate moments, cherishing our innocence and taking our time. On this particular day, in our usual meeting spot, the sky turned gray, and the trees danced energetically, lifting dance particles and decorating the atmosphere with dust. Sensing the impending rain, we took off, running for cover.
We hadn't gone far when the rain started pouring down. I was in a sleeveless blue jeans gown, shivering as we ran. Joshua noticed and halted us. He took off his shirt, offering it to shield me from the cold. Under the downpour, our eyes locked, and impulsively, he kissed me. I let the moment linger, savoring the taste of his lips on mine—a beautiful kiss beneath the open heavens.
We embraced our love openly, unafraid to show it to the world. Amidst our humorous moments, one beautiful night stands out. Eager for some private time, we faced the challenge of his elder sister in his room and my roommate in mine. A wild idea struck me, and I couldn't resist sharing it with him.
There was a woman who owned a kiosk in front of the school. Every night, after closing, she would move everything to her house to prevent burglary. I suggested to Joshua that we should have some private time inside the kiosk, and he agreed. It was quite a sight, both of us trying to fit into the small space with our large frames. Our heads bumped several times as we attempted to kiss, and instead of making out, we ended up laughing at our comical situation.
Joshua was a true gentleman, always considerate and never pressuring me into anything I didn't want. Our significant day arrived six months into our relationship. It was pouring rain that evening, with dark clouds making it seem like night had fallen early. We reached his room soaked, but luckily, his elder sister wasn't there, and it was dark. Unable to find a match to light a candle, we decided to shed our wet clothes and seek warmth in each other's embrace. Perhaps not the most brilliant idea, but no regrets. With my consent, we explored uncharted territories, discovering our bodies in a bittersweet experience that left me elephant-walking back to my hostel.
Not every moment with Joshua was picture-perfect. We had our fair share of fights. Joshua's jealousy was evident, and he didn't want me to show affection to any other guy. His possessiveness led him to believe he could be everything to me. He loved me so deeply that he even switched from the Deeper Life church to my church, ensuring he spent every possible hour with me. While I enjoyed the attention then, looking back, it seems a bit awkward that I devoted so much time to a relationship. Perhaps it's no surprise we both didn't fare well in our exams... lol.
We were fairly adventurous, so when a school activity took us to the town where my parents resided, we decided to be daring and make out at my house because my parents and siblings were not present. We didn't use any protection. Oh no! I did not become pregnant, if that is what you are thinking, but he did wipe up with a handkerchief, which we foolishly left on the floor in the room.
The next day, my mother discovered the handkerchief and called me home immediately. She questioned the dry, milky-brown content on it. Quick on my feet, I claimed it was postnasal drip due to a cold. My mother, skeptical, gave me a chance to confess, but I stuck to my story. She then suggested washing it to check for slime, and I knew I was caught. Did they punish me? Well, two hours of Bible reading and prayer for forgiveness behind closed doors with my parents could be considered punishment enough.
The best gift from Joshua was a musical jewelry box, and I can't help but blush as I type this. It was red, adorned with a dancing female figure on top. On Valentine's Day, he surprised me under the staircase of the female hostel with this exquisite gift and a rose sprayed with so much perfume. Overwhelmed by the beauty of the present, I teared up because I hadn't prepared anything for him. Joshua, ever understanding, gently carried me onto his lap, reassuring me that my love for him was more than enough.
Joshua and I fell in love during the era of cyber cafes and Yahoo Messenger—an experience that only millennials can truly relate to. Unfortunately, we struggled to maintain the relationship due to the challenges of communication. Six years later, fate brought us back to the town where we first met, and our paths crossed again. The reconnection felt as if we were never separated; the sparks and feelings easily reignited. However, a second time, distance became a barrier as Joshua got admission to study abroad and traveled to the United States.
After calling me daily for six months, Joshua vanished from the radar. His calls stopped, and he disappeared from social media. As I write this, I sincerely hope he's okay wherever he is. On every 5th of January, I visit his Facebook inbox, sending a birthday message and asking him to call me if he sees it. It's been eight years now, and there's still no sign of him anywhere. The uncertainty surrounding his whereabouts continues to weigh on my heart.
Joshua will always hold a special place in my heart because he taught me the true meaning of being loved and being loved right.
