In the past I used to think that rewards were the only way to make children behave. Like if a kid was doing something good then they should get rewarded with a chocolate, toy, or extra screen time and it looked like a perfect thing to do. But my thought process changed the day when a small event occurred and now I see both rewards and punishments in a different way.
When I was 10 years old, one day my younger cousin came over and she was carrying a tiny flower pot of rose. She cherished it so much because that plant was given to her on her birthday which was a week ago, she just turned six. So, as she was a kid she used to travel with the flower pot everywhere. She watered it every day and took care of it. She used to talk to it like it was one of her friends.
One evening, we were playing hide and seek, and I accidentally knocked the flower pot over. And sadly, the pot broke and the root of the rose fell out. I was scared because I did not do it purposely and before I could say anything, my cousin started crying the moment she saw it broken. My aunt came running when she heard the noise and I was expecting my aunt to get angry and complain about it to my mother because it was my mistake.
Instead, she stayed calm and asked me to help her with the plant. On the other hand, my mother came and she knew what I did but my aunt defended me when my mother was about to taunt me. Anyway, after that we bought another pot and carefully planted the rose again. My aunt asked me to water it every day until it was healthy again. So, in the beginning I felt sad because I knew I had done something wrong. But as the days passed, I became attached to that little plant too. In a week that flower stood tall again, I was feeling proud because I had contributed to make it survive.
However, two weeks passed and my aunt came into my room and smiled at me, she pat my head thanked me for taking care of the plant. I was feeling something different that I have never felt before, she didn't give me a gift, any money or rewards. But her smile and kind words made me feel happier than any reward could. I also realised that I have learned my mistake had consequences because I had to spend time fixing what I had broken.
That experience taught me that punishments and rewards both have a place in raising children but they should be used wisely. My mother was a person who thought punishments could make children learn but on the other hand my aunt had different perspectives, she always thought that if children are afraid they can not learn from their mistakes, so parents should help them understand their mistakes and not make them fearful. Also to be noted, giving rewards for every good action may make children expect something every time they do the right thing. So, they should be taught that, they should do something nice not because of a reward, they should do it because it's the right thing.
My aunt taught my mother that the best way to teach a child is to keep a balance. Children should be taught that bad choices have fair consequences and I also believe that they should also receive appreciation when they show honesty and responsibility. The goal should not be to control children with fear or prizes. It should be to help them grow as a good human being. They should become a person who choose the right path because they understand why it matters. In the end, that incident taught me that learning from a mistake can be a greater reward than receiving one.
The pictures are created with chatgpt.
