"It doesn't much signify whom one marries for one is sure to find out next morning it was someone else." -- Rogers To live is always desirable. -- Eleen the Capellan, "Friday's Child",

I'm definitely not in Omaha! A man took his wife deer hunting for the first time. After he'd given her some basic instructions, they agreed to separate and rendezvous later. Before he left, he warned her

Like corn in a field I cut you down, I threw the last punch way too hard, After years of going steady, well, I thought it was time, To throw in my hand for a new set of cards. And I can't take you dancing

Fame may be fleeting but obscurity is forever. And here I wait so patiently Waiting to find out what price You have to pay to get out of Going thru all of these things twice -- Dylan, "Memphis Blues

joeyh wonders why everyone wants to know how tall he is joeyh: it helps the sniper I believe in getting into hot water; it keeps you clean. -- G. K. Chesterton Real programmers don't write in BASIC. Actually,

I have learned To spell hors d'oeuvres Which still grates on Some people's n'oeuvres. -- Warren Knox When women kiss it always reminds one of prize fighters shaking hands. -- H. L. Mencken,

Probable-Possible, my black hen, She lays eggs in the Relative When. She doesn't lay eggs in the Positive Now Because she's unable to postulate How. -- Frederick Winsor "What do you do when your real

I think that I shall never see A billboard lovely as a tree. Indeed, unless the billboards fall I'll never see a tree at all. -- Ogden Nash Those who can, do; those who can't, simulate. There is one difference

Laws are like sausages. It's better not to see them being made. -- Otto von Bismarck If you had any brains, you'd be dangerous. Tart words make no friends; a spoonful of honey will catch more flies than

A fellow bought a new car, a Nissan, and was quite happy with his purchase. He was something of an animist, however, and felt that the car really ought to have a name. This presented a problem, as he was

Immortality consists largely of boredom. -- Zefrem Cochrane, "Metamorphosis", stardate 3219.8 All the big corporations depreciate their possessions, and you can, too, provided you use them for

I do not believe in the creed professed by the Jewish Church, by the Roman Church, by the Greek Church, by the Turkish Church, by the Protestant Church, nor by any Church that I know of. My own mind is

Before you ask more questions, think about whether you really want to know the answers. -- Gene Wolfe, "The Claw of the Conciliator" FROM THE DESK OF Rapunzel Dear Prince: Use ladder tonight

Let's just be friends and make no special effort to ever see each other again. As a general rule of thumb, never trust anybody who's been in therapy for more than 15 percent of their life span. The words

Fairlight: udp is the light margarine of tcp/ip transport protocols :) -- Seen on #Linux "You must have an IQ of at least half a million." -- Popeye "You've got to think about tomorrow!"

Be regular and orderly in your life, so that you may be violent and original in your work. -- Flaubert I do enjoy a good long walk -- especially when my wife takes one. Thank god!! ... It's HENNY YOUNGMAN!!

You too can wear a nose mitten. Gray's Law of Programming: _bn+1' trivial tasks are expected to be accomplished in the same time as_bn' tasks. Logg's Rebuttal to Gray's Law: _bn+1' trivial tasks take twice