You will never better yourself if you keep deluding and deceiving yourself. You have to realize why, in the first place, you want to improve yourself. Uprooting the cause of your ideals and aspirations WILL make you realize that they are a disguise or a cope from a reality you don't want to face. You don't want to face that life is indeed boring and miserable, therefore your mind creates ideals to delude itself in.
People need meaning, even if it doesn't intrinsically exist. It doesn't exist past the limits of human perception. Your perception of life will inevitably be tainted or distorted if you attribute meaning to it; living in an illusion is great, but thats not the way towards self-improvement. Unless you want to live in the illusion of it which would otherwise be great. Paradoxically, even nihilistic absurdism acts as an illusion of reality. You delude yourself in the fact that the world lacks purpose, what gives it meaning is the meaninglessness of it; to just live in the spite of it.
It is a very strange cope, you embrace the idea that meaning doesn't exist, in order to comfort yourself from the painful idea that everything indeed is meaningless.
The mind does this all the time. It has been constructed this way; to deceive, to lie, to create disguises.
It could be detrimental to your well-being as an individual if you lost meaning, therefore the mind has to keep creating disguises. Existence wouldn't be possible otherwise, atleast in the way we live. In the way we live like in the present, the mind can easily get tangled and disorganized. Insight and self-reflection will make you realize how much you are actually deceiving yourself. Everyone does.
