We’ve all told lies at different points in our lives. Sometimes, they may be deemed necessary and other times, they’re totally uncalled for.
For some people, they tell lies to avoid hurting the feelings of their loved ones and this act is often referred to as a white lie. I do believe that there can be a bit of justification for this kind of lie because it centers the mental and emotional well-being/response of the recipient. I’ve also been both a victim and a teller of white lies, so I understand how it feels being on either end.
I remember that the most recent white lie I told was to a close friend on my last birthday. They had gotten me a bag as a present, and it turned into a “what I ordered versus what I got” kind of package. It wasn’t entirely bad, but it wasn’t what was shown in the photo before the order was placed. My friend already felt bad when he realized the situation and considering that he spent a lot of money on the present, I did not want to make him feel any sadder, so I had to pretend that I loved the bag completely.
I gushed a lot about the features and even though that did not take away the sadness of spending their money on something that turned out to be of lesser quality, it comforted them to know that I wasn’t sitting there ranting about the present. It also made them happier knowing that I was going to wear the bag, regardless.
Most times, just like others, I tell white lies because I'm trying to protect the feelings of someone I cared about. I had learned to put myself in the shoes of others, asking how I would feel if someone told me an uncomfortable truth that could have been left unsaid.
I may have limited the amount of white lies I tell now because I have grown into a more mature adult who can say the truth in the most understanding and empathetic way, but I’ve also stopped beating myself up for the times I tell such lies because I know how necessary they can be in many situations.
On the other hand, some white lies are totally unnecessary, and in this case, the truth needs to be said no matter how difficult it would be for the recipient to process. Depending on what the context is, resorting to a white lie might encourage poor behavior while also stripping people of accountability. Sometimes, the recipient may also feel deceived if the truth is told to them at a later time and maybe a grudge might follow that lie we assumed to be harmless at some point.
There truly is no perfect justification for white lies in general because lies are still lies at the end of the day. But honestly, it shouldn’t be a big deal when we lie to save other people from feeling too poorly about themselves or a terrible situation. I mean, if it is indeed harmless and produces no negative outcome, then it should not be something that requires scrutiny. I understand that religious views may differ and that’s totally fine but speaking from a neutral stance, I would not consider such white lies to be a problem, especially if they aren’t made a habit.
Generally, I think the best approach is for people to study their loved ones and understand whether or not they prefer bluntness or being told white lies. Every situation should be evaluated before deciding whether a white lie is necessary or not. Ultimately, I believe people can just carry on as long as they understand the consequences attached to lies.
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