I remember that day when I was a child that I wanted to travel abroad but I did not try it really really hard. I remember asking to apply for an Erasmus that I did not do much. I remember in my carrier that I choose to change university program because I was afraid, I did not want to make an effort, I did not want to put myself in the line. (I need to have people of high value around me because I do not feel like someone of value) I was extremely afraid of the commitment, I was extremely afraid of the suffering involved there. I was extremely afraid of losing certain friends that I would have lost anyway.
I like the definition that Jordan B Peterson does with commitment equals sacrifices because it is true. I never put myself into a soccer team because I was so freaking afraid of not being as good as the other thought I was. I mean, yes I create football teams with my friends, but I have never enrolled a serious football team outside school. I was terribly afraid, of being around those though guys.
At university, I did not join any club because I was afraid of not looking cool. I did not join any club because they would have seen me as a f@#King freak and they would have known me as I am and then they would have run and they would have told the other people in the university that I was a strange insect. I did not join any club in the university because I was so freaking afraid of showing up. I did not join the sports club earlier because I was so freaking afraid of going for what I wanted it. I did not join the sports club earlier because then they were about to judge me and they would have find out that I am not that cool after all.
[After University you could play all that you want…I hate believing my mother] I do not want to make the first movement towards meeting new friends because I am so afraid of not being seeing as an alpha, super cool man. I entered Alcoholics Anonymous because in certain aspects I did not want to be alone.
By YagitoYago
