Jokes collection

1. Husband pays his salary and takes it home to please his wife.

Then he said to his wife, "Honey, I'm paid. Give me a kiss and it's yours."

The wife was slow and indifferent. The husband did not respond to his wife.

"If you don't come again, I'll go and find someone to serve me and give her all the money."

The wife responded faintly, "If you dare to go, how do you spend the money, how can I earn it back?"

1. The wife suddenly asked her husband, "Do you love me?" "Love, of course love!" The husband answered without hesitation. The wife thought about it and asked, "Are you afraid of hurting me?" The husband quickly said, "No, no, I was afraid you would hurt me."

1. Xiao Ming's math is not good enough to be transferred to a church school by his parents. Half a year later, all the math scores were A. Mother asked, "Is it a nun who teaches well? Is it a good textbook? Is it prayer?..." "Neither," Xiao Ming said. "On the first day of school, I saw a man nailed to the top of the plus sign, and I knew... They are playing for real.

1. In the public toilet, I suddenly heard someone in the toilet say, "Dude, do you have toilet paper?"

I turned my pocket over and said, "Sorry, no."

After a few seconds, the man asked again, "Is there a small newspaper there?"

I smiled helplessly: "Sorry, no, I just came to urinate."

After a few seconds, a 10 yuan note was stuffed into the door of the toilet: "Can you change it into 10 pieces and 1 yuan?"

I handed the money over and there was a roar in the toilet: "Don't give me ten coins!"

1. Twenty years ago, when Dad held you waiting for the bus, everyone laughed at the ugly child and Dad cried. The old man who sold bananas patted his father and said, "Brother, stop crying and give a banana to the monkey. It's pity, hungry and hairless."

1. A lady got up on the spur of the moment and bought a female parrot. I didn't expect to take it home. The first thing it said was, "Do you want to go to bed with me?"

When the lady listened, she thought to herself: No, the foreigners thought that I taught this, which did not destroy all my lady image. So she tried her best to hand in the parrot and say something elegant, but the female parrot was so heartless that she could only say one word: "Do you want to go to bed with me?"

... What shall I do? When the lady lost her opinion, she heard that the priest had a parrot (male) there, and that the parrot, instead of speaking rudely, was a devout believer, praying most of the day. So the lady went to the priest for help. When the priest understood her intentions, he said with a slight difficulty, "It's hard to do this. In fact, the parrot didn't teach him anything deliberately. The reason why it is so pious may be that it has been edified here for a long time."

When the priest saw that the lady was very disappointed, he said, "Well, you bring that parrot to me and I'll put them together. Hopefully, after a while, your parrot will be touched. I can only do these things. Whether they work or not depends on God's will.

Ladies listen, it can only be so, is not there a saying: near Zhu Zhichi? Try it. So she took the parrot to the priest. The priest kept the two parrots together as promised. At first, the female parrot was still a little restrained. Looking at the male parrot in the corner of the cage, silent prayer, really can not bear to disturb. But she still couldn't control herself, and finally said aloud, "Do you want to go to bed with me? "

When the male parrot heard this, he stopped praying, turned to look at his mother, and suddenly burst into tears: "Thank God, my wish of praying for so many years has finally come true..."