For sometime now I have become aware of the fact that I don’t always finish sentences, i will start with do you like such and such or....? And within this look to the other to add the missing words - I used to think that I was being ‘thoughtful’ and allowing another freedom of expression, perhaps in part this is true, but there is also a hidden subtle dimension of being unsure of offering a solution, question, option of sorts, and within this I am then waiting for a confirmation that it is ok to speak. As I unfold this dimension I see that this started many years ago when I would be told “children should be seen and not heard” - so I have been programming myself as someone that really doesn't have anything important or of interest to say...
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to create a belief within and as me that I have nothing of any worth to say
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to become sloppy in my words and within this loose sight of who I am and what I have to say
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to create a belief within and as me that I am talking rubbish and that no one will want to hear what I have to say
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to morph into another and agree with them as a form of believing that their words are more important than mine
To be continued....