I got to thinking today about drama and whether life is better or worse with drama in it? Do I create my own drama as a form of entertainment? Do I enjoy watching drama on tv, do I judge drama as not real and annoying on tv? Do I believe that a life without drama is going to be dull and boring?
Out of all of these questions came the realisation that I was creating a distraction from being here in the moment now - and that there is a part of me that craves drama. I have used the words ‘life is dull’ what is the point ? But not in a form of depression but more from a knowledge of who I am when I’m ‘bored’ as I have defined it and how within this things needs to be continually moving. A friend of mine said once always have dates in a diary, things to look forward to...
I realised that even boredom is an attempt to convince myself that life needs more excitement and that when things are ticking along quietly there needs to be a stirring up. I notice how I will become a bit edgy and look for things to do to distract myself instead of just being here relaxing. It’s all about energy or the experience of it, and that my mind looks to continuously have a source of energy....
The latest drama that I have created for myself is a fear of surgery, small or big I will worry and give myself stress of worse case scenario, omg to the point where I panic and stress even though I have no idea how it will turn out... assumption is the mother of all **** ups and this truly is assumption at it finest.
In the next post as I open this up I’ll walk the forgiveness.
To be continued....
