I had a group discussion with some kids yesterday and the topic of discussion was "kindness". As this is a topic in (christian religious knowledge) C.R.K, the story of the good Samaritan came up. We wandered a little bit from the topic discussed when this little girl told me a story.
Image source|| Edited on canva
She said and I quote; " teacher, last week, one woman was walking around with her small baby. She told someone to hold the baby because she wanted to buy something. Since she went, till today, she has not come back"
The first question that came to my mind was, "is the mother okay? I honestly hope that nothing happened to the mother. After a series of questions and comprehension, It didn't take me long to realise that this mother had abandoned her child. Why did she keep the child in the first place if she was eventually going to thrust the child into a stranger's care and scurry away? Could it be that she never wanted the baby? I wonder.
Which brings me to the second prompt for this week's contest; Would I decide to have the unexpected baby or would you terminate it?
From research, I hear that the process of making babies is utterly consensual. ( except you got raped, which isn't the case here). It's quite amusing to see how people's characters change immediately when the baby suffices. It's rare to see both parties accept the unwanted baby willfully. Heck, who am I kidding? The only time I saw both parties accept the baby willfully was in an American movie, I doubt this counts.
Irrespective of how we want to look at it, babies are gifts and they are an amazing addition to a person's family (overlooking the sleepless nights, the changing of diapers and the incessantly purchasing of baby cereals). The atmosphere automatically changes on the arrival of a baby.
BUT
The thoughts of having a baby when a person isn't financially stable and mentally ready can spur up a lot of emotions especially in the male party. Hence, the thought of terminating the baby comes up. One may wonder why the ladies wouldn't easily accept the termination. This is because the mother-baby connection has already been made in most cases and as such, terminating the pregnancy wouldn't be her first option. Also, taking into consideration the complications that follow termination of a baby.
I happened to be around a girl who was in this situation. She was so adamant. Her boyfriend kept telling her to terminate the baby but she didn't budge. She saw everyone who told her to terminate the baby as monsters and murderers; well you wouldn't exactly blame her.
Along the line, her parents came into the picture and strictly told her to terminate the baby. Strange? I know. She was given an ultimatum, either her baby, or them. The first option would have been to run but to where? Under the bridge? Moreover, she was pretty young and depended solely on her parents. With her parents' supreme power, she terminated the baby and she was traumatised for years.
If I was placed in such a position (which I most likely wouldn't), I definitely wouldn't terminate my baby due to the aforementioned reasons. The world may be against me due to the fact that I'm not following the normal "get married before you have kids" tradition but this wouldn't change my mind. I have grown to love having kids around and the idea of terminating them in their most fragile state doesn't just sit right with me.
I, for one, wouldn't like the single mother tag as it comes with so much stigmatisation but this wouldn't still lead to the termination of the unborn child. What If the unborn child would be the next Dangote? Or Bill gates. Just what if?.
This is my response the weekly #hivenaija prompt which can be found here. You're cordially invited to join in the fun as it is open to everyone .
With love, wongi ✨
