In the not so unspoken moments ideas come and go...
Image by Jaesung An from Pixabay
DAYS GO BY
Seems like most of us are healing, listening, hoping. Days go by, turn into weeks and months. Seems like now is always going by, turning into something else; so you do a lot of stuff and find you're at an end, or a new beginning; questing, wanting, desiring, needing. Seasons come and go, like friends in the changing wind of it all. Sometimes time seems to stand still while you rage inside to move. Sometimes it is all too much and all you really want is to find that friend to be with, the one that is not too busy for you.
Ever moving onwards in this thing called life, leaving so much behind, lessons learnt, love felt, pain endured. And sometimes just a moment in it all that you can take a little time alone in a place where you can immerse yourself beneath the surface and just be in that moment's time of freedom, a swim, alone, where you forget who you are and all there is, is now, an inducement most profound to just be.
Image by Jaesung An from Pixabay
THIS IS WHAT I WANT
I was stuck in a river of mud with only a spoon to dig my way out of it, and time was a mountain I couldn’t be certain of.
As the leaves of thought fell, I unloosed myself from my belt and grew my beard ever longer and called out the names of all the ones I’d ever loved to come save me.
Well I could die around here real easy if I wasn’t careful.
It was around this point in time that I rang the bell of Zazen and fell into a heavy sleep that took me far away, until some bully-face hit me on the back with a stick and woke me out of it.
I was terribly sorry then for calling my guide a name in my mind, and determined to do better, even if I expired, so I dove, right back into it.
As I surfaced on the moon I heard a didgeridoo calling out: get your scrambled eggs here. Well, I was hungry and just had to go get some; didn’t I.
But before I could exit another inch the band came on and did a number on me, and I just had to move. Moments later there was a girl dancing right in front of me, with wiggling hips, breasts, and shaking me for something.
Image by Jaesung An from Pixabay
I was trying to hold on to my hat of course, in all of the movement, and being a little bit naïve I saw no one else for three months running, until I came to my senses.
It was here that I realised that I didn’t have a map to get back home with.
So I gave up my ticket for the big show to a rusty beggar, and arrived on the bridge with all the flowers growing on it.
As I looked around, and then back over my shoulder to see what was happening there, I saw some followers following me. So I said: what do you lot want?
I was expecting too much to get an answer, until I saw this was so. Suddenly I remembered that my beard was getting longer, so I dropped it all and turned around on my path and began picking the flowers.
Unless you have love to give them to, then don’t pick the flowers, said the voice that had been near-by for a very long time.
Now look here, I said; well, with me being British and all, that’s what I would say, right?
This will not hurt a bit, said a silly little man trying to jab something into my arm, just then.
So I gave him the old one two and the middle finger in each eye routine and made my escape, again.
Seems like, I’m always waking up to something to get away from. Well, I sure would like something to go towards right now. This is what I felt anyway, that I wanted to go towards something.
Hmm.
Ah, said my other half, barking up the wrong tree and chasing the biscuit all the way to the windmill that blew it over and tumbled it down the slope all the way to the bottom.
Image by Johannes Plenio from Pixabay
I just had to push the boat out then to get to the other side before any more awakenings happened and broke me open more than I could live another day.
A face at the window gave me a wink and shook a bunch of roses at me, so much so, I was just gone.
The next thing I remembered I had a hand over my face telling me not to speak to anyone anymore.
What, I said.
And then I thought: boy, the mind sure does have some devices to distract you into anything it can blow up and make huge.
Poems came to be had, and having, let go of, never to be said.
It was here that I went intellectually mad over what piece of love can you keep, that I wept over for years after not being able to keep it, and weeping, my tears were heard.
What do you want?
Reduced to no more than an urchin I crept onwards into my heart, hungry for my love.
I broke open the champagne to welcome it into my arms, or at least wave the flag of truce, but there was no mercy from this.
I want you, I said.
Then take me, it said, and be unafraid.
I was not unafraid or restrained by the mercies, for I was not afraid to cry.
And then it said: there is only one question that is left, so what is your answer?
I was really glad I’d grown my beard so long, for I blended into the crowd; and as I merged with it, I became it, and was no longer anywhere.
Zazen.
Image by Gerd Altmann from Pixabay
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