I often wish I could share on this platform some of the debates I have in my replies to others' posts. The five friends who follow my escapades would appreciate them. I woke up late last night, my brain buzzing after a recent conversation with a lifelong friend. While I was writing him a letter explaining my admittedly controversial point of view on that subject, I checked my FB account and saw many responses to my comments in a discussion about the large number of unmarried men. This particular thread was on one of my favorite subjects, self-imposed infertility.
The person “Claire Smith,” who subjected me to ad hominem attacks for my comments, was on a tirade because I observed that the only places in the world where the fertility rate remains high in the dominant society are in cultures where women have little or no choice over the matter. I won’t take you through the entire back-and-forth debate- hers laced with name-calling and anger, mine with calculated rhetoric- but she felt that I was advocating despotism as a culture. While my observation that in every culture where women CAN choose, they have chosen infertility is controversial and evocative, in no way do I want to suggest that I am in favor of brutality.
My point in these conversations is that the only choice men have in these matters is to allow women to choose, or to force them through physical intimidation into having children. Men don’t have children; women do. Women have many choices that could produce enough children to sustain the population… and that is my point and question. With all of the choices women COULD make, why, in every such culture, do they choose self-imposed infertility?
Actually, I did point out one well-known culture where women have designed a self-supporting society, but that is another conversation.
Finally, seemingly in a rage, she replied in capital letters, “BECAUSE IT ISN’T WORTH IT.”
There you have it. I suspect she was right. For whatever reason, rather than finding a way to organize a society that would give them freedom AND provide for babies, they simply chose to end the culture that gives women freedom.
The funniest thing about this debate, and it is not uncommon in my experience, is that once I pointed out that she indeed proved my point, she deleted all her participation.