Lately, I rediscovered a ( Dutch ) podcast about Childrens' Book Authors, titled 'De Grote Vriendelijke Podcast' ( The Great Friendly Podcast ).
The name of this show is clearly a wordplay on what used to be one of my favorite books, as a child. I am talking about a classic by Roald Dahl, that was later adapted to the screen, resulting in one of my favorite animated movies: De GVR / De Grote Vriendelijke Reus ( The BFG or The Big Friendly Giant ).
FYI: The movie from 1989 was my favorite, not the CGI version from 2016.
The reason I am listening to - and enjoying - this podcast, nowadays, is that I'm pretty much a children's book author myself, albeit unknown, as of yet ( outside of Hive and the circle of my friends, family and acquaintances ).
Not so strange, if you ask me, as I only finished a 22 short stories book so far, last February and I printed a measly 10 copies of this.
Since then, and in the two years prior to that, I have been working on dozens of stories and a couple of different books around the main character of this dinoverse who listens to the name Hypersensitivosaurus.
After all these years, I still don't understand my own process ( something similar used to be the case in my filmmaking days ). No matter what I try, I just can't force my creativity. Everytime I think I've gained some momentum, I lose it immediately afterwards. If I think I've found the perfect book idea, I start working on another story or book months later. And when I think I've finally finished something, I then decide it's not good enough and start to work on a second version that becomes a chore, soon after. So much so that I decide to work on another project, once again. And I'm not even talking about how often I change the process of my illustrations, the tools I use for them. Let's not get into that, today.
I wrote a litle about perfectionism lately, that sure is part of the reason why the above happens. Another is lack of focus / struggling to focus and - at times - a lack of purpose. What's the point of all of this?
Then again, I can't help but feel, in the last couple of years, that I'm here, right now, to tell and share these stories about this sensitive philosoraptor. It's just that it would be nice if I could make the process a little smoother, less of a struggle. Then again, would it still be as interesting then?
I'm drifting off, I told you that I rock at losing focus, right? ;<)
What I was trying to point out, is that listening to established authors and illustrators ( if you've following me for a while you will be aware of the fact that I illustrate my own stories too ), can be pretty comforting. There's so much I recognize in their process, so much that I can relate to. They understand me and I understand them.
( Not ) coincidentally, the last two episodes that I listened to featured two writers who seem to work at an extremely slow pace, who keep changing their process and stories, sculpting away at it until it feels right. It sure helps to know that you're not the only one and that there's nothing wrong with taking your time for things.
I guess my books are like a good wine, a nice cheese, they need time to ripen, to mature.
If you're a creative yourself, how would you describe your process? Is it as much of an untamed monster as mine?