Having a Spouse is one of the best experiences in life - someone to share everything with, someone to rely on, someone to love & unlike at the same time. But what happens in most of the spouse-centeredness relationship is - Dvelopment of emotional dependence on each other.

If your sense of self-worth comes from the marriage - then we become highly dependent on mood and behaviour of our spouse. Their behaviour affects you to a very high degree. We also become vulnerable to any external event that has an impact on our marriage, examples being - a new child, in-laws, social successes.

Now as adversities in life come forward - we tend to fall back to our basic life scripts that we were given in childhood, so does our Spouse. But the scripts are different always for both persons. Different ways to dealing with stress and issue comes up.

Now you are emotionally dependent on your spouse but you don't agree with their way of dealing things - at such instant a spouse centered relationship reveals all its vulnerability. Here we are dependent on the person with whom we are in conflict - need and conflict come up at same time.
If you don't like a human out there in the world - you will simply move on. But cannot just do it simply in case of spouse.

What happens later on in such cases?
Human mind realises the emotional dependence and comes back to the same person for soothing with added satirical comments and cutting humour.

--I agree with the above real life concept. Everytime it happens - I can clearly see - I love the person but I don't like what they are saying - the conflicting situation makes me vulnerable.

Keep Calm and Steem On

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