Water ran down her body, soap washed away the dirt trapped on her skin. Her conscience was not so clean, but still her face smiled at me and her gaze was still bright for me. She was washing her body and, just at that moment, I said what she had just seen, the messages she had just read.
It was 3 years of relationship and I had never ever had the slightest curiosity to read his messages or who he wrote to or what he said. I believe that in a couple there should be trust and that means, among other things, the necessary space to not have to check oursconversations.
In particular, I like to keep my privacy, I do not like anyone to read my private conversations and that does not mean that I am cheating on someone but that there are things that are mine and should be respected. For example, I have sisters, brothers and friends and sometimes they tell me personal matters because they are confiding in me and I don't think any third party has the right to see it without my consent.
Getting back to the initial point, the night before I saw something that left me quite thoughtful. We were going to cuddle up to sleep and I saw on her phone screen that she was texting with someone who worked with us at the same company. I thought it was super weird since they were not friends, however, to justify the situation in my mind I tried to assume it was something work related.
But my doubts began to get stronger, I already had a suspicion because I had noticed that when that other girl posted anything on Facebook, the one who was my partner gave Like to absolutely everything she posted and that was not usual for her and even less towards that person.
The night I saw out of the corner of my eye that he was writing to that other girl, I just asked him:
Would you betray me?
She hugged me and told me she wouldn't do that, at that moment it was enough to spend the night quietly. I tried in my mind not to give her strength or greater importance, I really trusted her, I knew that she really liked to make friends, however, in the morning when she was taking a shower, for the first time in more than 3 years of relationship I reviewed their conversations, better said that conversation.
I felt as if something inside me had turned off, my lips were dry, my heart was racing.
For a moment I thought about calming down and thinking about the best way to approach the situation calmly but I couldn't hold on for even 2 minutes. I went into the bathroom in an untimely manner and while she was taking a shower I said to her:
I saw the conversation you are having with Miss X.
She came out of the bathroom faster than usual and complained to me for checking her phone, that's the height of chutzpah.
I was obfuscated, very upset and hurt. I left that house, her house.
A few days later I decided I wanted to try to get over that, however, it was obviously not the same anymore, something had broken.
It was like a cut in the skin, at the moment it hurts more, with the passing of the days the wound closes until a scar remains.
In that case I decided, at that moment, to give a chance because that girl had also forgiven me many things, not of the same nature, but sometimes hurtful behaviors.
We continued but nothing was ever the same again, after that we broke up for good a few months later.
That was an experience in which I lived a deception, how I confronted him and how superficially, at that moment, I forgave him. I say superficially, because inside I kept resentment about it.
Since then, many years ago, that girl and I still talk, once a year to say hello, I have a good relationship with her mother and I talk to her much more often and I have even visited her. The girl has been living in another country for a few years now.
That relationship also left me very nice things, memories that seen from the time that has passed are like little stars that illuminate the night. I can't only see the end of something that was so great, nor can I say it was a lie, nor put all the blame on her, a relationship is at least 2 people.
Now I don't have a partner, I would like to have a special person in my life, the love of a partner I feel fills my life with colors, gives me an extra motivation to do things.
If at some point I have a couple relationship again, I hope so, I would like to not have to live a cheating or betrayal, I would try to create the best base with a person who is in resonance with that, however, we are human and many things can happen, if an act of betrayal happens again I would like to face it from the beginning, with clarity and serenity.
I think I could forgive the fact of an infidelity, as long as it was not something significant for the person and somehow it can be justified and, very important, feel in her the desire to overcome the situation and clean up what happened with honesty, love, affection, dedication and transparency, of course, just a chance, I think we all deserve one.
Thank you for reading.
This writing is inspired by 
Photos from my personal gallery