seeing someone in denial is one thing.

seeing someone actively putting on a show to the whole world and half heartedly feigning authenticity is another.

In recovery, some may "fall off the wagon" only to keep up the charade that eveything is fine, and continue going through the motions to keep everyone in their life happy. Basically " doing " recovery for everyone but THEMSELVES. (all the wrong reasons)

Who really gets better?

Page 122

"We can also use the steps to improve our attitudes. Our best thinking got us into trouble. We recognize the need for change."

Basic Text, p. 55

When new in recovery, most of us had at least one person we just couldn't stand. We thought that person was the rudest, most obnoxious person in the program. We knew there was something we could do, some principle of recovery we could practice to get over the way we felt about this person-but what? We asked our sponsor for guidance. We were probably assured, with an amused smile, that if we just kept coming back, we'd see the person get better That made sense to us. We believed that the steps of NA worked in the lives of everyone. If they could work for us, they could work for this horrible person, too.

Time passed, and at some point we noticed that the person didn't seem as rude or obnoxious as before. In fact, he or she had become downright tolerable, maybe even likeable. We got a pleasant jolt as we realized who had really gotten better. Because we had kept coming back, because we had kept working the steps, our perception of this person had changed. The person who'd plagued us had become "tolerable" because we'd developed some tolerance; he or she had become "likeable" because we'd developed the ability to love.