I'd love to be sitting here, writing about all the adventures I have got up to these last two weeks since I have been in Ireland. But truth be told, I have spend most of that time in bed, my childhood bed to be precise. Which in itself has been quite an experience. When I landed, my stomach felt a little off, which is nothing unusual for me, after flying.
But after a couple of days the pain was in my back and I seemed to be spending way too much time in the bathroom, when I should have been catching up with my sister. So on the Friday morning, I took myself off to the nearest pharmacy (unfortunately there were no health food shops in the area) and got myself some Vit C, Zinc and pure Cranberry Juice.
I had the feeling that perhaps I had an U.T.I and I really wanted to get on top of it. After regular doses of Vit C, I felt somewhat better and the next day, me, my girls, my sister and her soon to be husband went to the local park for a walk. I really had a strong desire to be amongst some trees. It certainly felt great to be outside, but after a while my back really began to ache, so I had to go back to my sisters apartment to rest.
This was not how I envisioned my visit, especially after 3 years.
I was prepared for the emotional side of things, knowing how difficult it would be returning and my sister not being there. But spending so much time unwell, when I all I wanted was to be helping my younger sister get ready for her wedding, well that, that is not something I think you can ever be prepared for.
One day of rest and of course I felt somewhat better and ended up doing more than I should, this was also the day I was travelling down the Country to be with y mother. On the Monday morning I woke up feeling terrible. Really feverish and shaky and totally out of my comfort zone.
I have my remedies at home in my truck, I know what I need when I am unwell. But here, I had nothing. Only myself and my body that felt like it had been through the wars. My girls looked really worried at me, as I my body tried desperately to fit this infection that now had spread to my kidneys.
My mother done her best to keep them distracted, taking them out, giving them little jobs to do. But she was also worried about me, both her and my sister were having hushed conversations on the phone, where i heard the mention of A&E a few times.
It's difficult when you have complete trust in your own body and it's healing capabilities and those around you do not. There stress, as making me stressed, which only made me feel worse. They were only concerned for me and worried that I would not be well enough to attend the wedding, that I made this trip for.
I had 4 days of feeling like shite, there are no other words for it. Where I even doubted whether or not I could get better. It's really not easy, being sick away from home. I had no appetite at all for those 4 days and now, i do look a little gaunt, which is not a look I enjoy and one I certainly don't want for my sisters wedding.
I am fully aware of how my girls, witnessed my sisters illness and passing and I know that they worry ever time they see me sick, that perhaps the same will happen to me. This really breaks my heart and my youngest even asked me if I was going to die. That really set me off.
But I am on the mend and my absence on here, is really a testament of how sick I really was. In the 4 and a half years I have been posting on here, I have never missed more that 4 days. But I just didn't have the energy for writing, heck I couldn't if get it together to turn on my laptop, let alone look at a screen.
In 4 days, my little sister gets married and I feel like I have shed a part of myself in the lead up to it. Wow, it has been one hell of an experience so far. I don't remember the last time I felt so caged and vulnerable. But I can't wait to see my sis tie the knot, she deserves all the happiness in the world and then some.
(Photos are from my walk in the Park)
