An Encounter with A Mentor
"What are you doing these days?" she asked, and I couldn't suppress the anxiety that threatened to choke me.
"I'm writing," I said, but my voice was small.
See, we had been down this road before, and she had made no secret about her contempt for the life of a writer.
"Why would you want to be a writer," she had said once, "when you can be so much more?"
And so, when we reconnected and she asked about my professional life, I stood before her, an adult, a wife, a mother, a professional, and I reduced myself to 12 inches so that I could be measured by her ruler.
"I'm writing," I said, and my voice was small, my dream a discarded poem, crumpled up and tossed to the side.
"Oh," her voice dripped with sarcasm. "You've tried that hobby so many times before."
And right there, like clockwork, the dismissal. I blushed and thanked God for the melanin that coated my skin like loam.
She moved on, but I stood in the same spot, my heart rooted to the same spot, my feet bound by the tar of my dreams on the same spot. I stood, because as difficult as it was to stand, as much as my soul was bending under the weight of her opinion, there was a tiny part of myself that was fighting back and gaining strength.
"I'm writing," I said. "I'm writing again. I should never have stopped. And this isn't just a little hobby, this is my life."
I Have A Dream and the Dream Is My Own
Guys, picture this. Imagine you're in a beach house with nine other friends. Imagine going to bed exhausted one night and falling asleep as soon as your head hit the pillow.
Imagine dreaming. Can any one of your nine friends tell you what you were dreaming about? I'd guess the answer to that is no.
Okay, let's sweeten the deal. Imagine dreaming that your friends were in the dream with you. Do you think that any of them in reality could tell you what you were dreaming? I'd go out on a limb here and guess that they can't, not if you don't tell them. They won't know what happened. They can't know how it felt. They know absolutely nothing about your dream.
And so, thinking of dreams in terms of goals, I'd say the same thing: the people around you may mean well, but they know absolutely nothing about your dream. Your dream is your own.
And while I understand that a literal dream is not reality because you've gotta wake up, I know that a vision based on goals and with an action plan that is implemented effectively can become reality. But don't expect anyone to walk in that dream with you.
Protect Your Dream
Too often, when we have a dream, we share and seek external validation from unworthy sources. Don't explain your dream to people who won't get it.
Don't lend out your dream. Don't pass it around to your friends and family or acquaintances so that they could squeeze and measure and discuss and place a value on it. Your dream is your own.
We want people to tell us that our dream is worthy, and if they don't, we give up on them and on huge parts of ourselves. Don't reduce your dreams to fit their rulers.
Nurture your Dream
Listen, guys, the way I see it, your dream is like a child, you need to nurture it.
I had a supervisor once who said every concept is little more than an idea until it is put into action, and this is so true. It's all good to want to be successful, but we have to be prepared to put in the work to realize our dreams. You've got to have a roadmap with planned milestones for your dreams. You need to implement your dream plans and you need to be consistent in your pursuit.
You are worthy and so is your dream
Guys, for years, I hid in plain sight.
I wanted to write, but I didn't think that I was worthy. And for years, I'd wear a mask of pseudonyms or not at write all because I did not have confidence in who I was and I feared ridicule. I'd hide in plain site..
It took a lot to grow past that moment, to stop absorbing and manifesting negativity, but I've gotten to the point where I know that I am worthy, and I know that my writing is worthy. You are too, and so is your dream.
Trust the Process
Finally, my friends, the technology hasn't developed as yet where, immediately upon conceptualizing something, it could be built faster than we could blink. Today, even among those with access to the best resources, everything takes time. And so, realizing your dream will take time, but you can't afford to get exhausted and want to give up your first time around. You have to learn to trust the process.
And so, my friends, this brings me to the end of tonight's blog. My final takeaway, if you have a dream, remember that it's your own and no one else's.
You've got to love and nurture your dream. Whether it is conventional or not, whether the people around you can grasp it or not, you should never doubt yourself or your dream. And, it may not happen for you today or tomorrow, but that does not mean that it won't happen for you at all. Trust the process.
Put in the hard work. Be consistent. And dream, my friends!
Have a great day!