I Return and Find What Still Waits,

I’ve noticed that the same space feels different every time I enter it, even though nothing visible seems to have changed during the process,
I notice how the air carries a different weight and I respond differently depending on what I am quietly carrying inside me as I walk through healing,
I notice how my attention shifts and reveals details that were always there but I was too distracted to receive before because I was fixated on the other path,
I’m too focused afraid to notice, am I genuinely perceiving what’s here, or am I merely accepting what I believe I already know,
I’ve noticed that even in repetition, there’s a sense of newness when I allow myself to stay present long enough to experience the same process all over again…

I return to the same places I once believed I had fully understood, only to discover something unsettling still lingering inside that I fear the most,
I return realizing that familiarity can deceive me into believing I’ve completed something that’s still quietly unfolding, that I know can be fulfilling,
I return again allowing myself to encounter the same moment without assuming it will present me with the same version of itself as I visit the process all over again,
I return again and I wonder if I’m open to the changes that have occurred since then, or if I’m clinging to the familiar feeling of the past acquired habits,
I return once more acknowledging that nothing remains constant long enough for me to truly master it in the manner I once desired to be more,

I sense the subtle changes in the smallest details that would have gone unnoticed if I were still rushing through everything without taking a moment to pause and reflect,
I sense the shift in my own reactions, as they vary depending on the knowledge I’ve acquired or forgotten since my last experience with the process,
I sense the change in how my body carries memory, coloring each moment with the same intensity and passion to create and grow from,
I sense the change in me, am I letting this moment be fresh and new, or am I forcing it into something familiar to feel secure and comfortable,
I sense the shift as comprehending that change is constant, even when it’s subtle and not immediately felt and seen…

I move through life, aware that I am not the same person from one week to the next, even when I try to maintain consistency and progress,
I move through my thoughts, observing how they change and contradict each other without demanding immediate outcome,
As I move through life, I notice how certain parts of myself dissolve while others quietly form without my full awareness or control,
As I move forward, am I creating space for personal growth or am I clinging to an outdated version of myself that I have outgrown as the passes,
As I move forward, I realize growth feels like loss before it feels like gain, and the shift happens when I trust that what I’m leaving is making space for what I truly need,

Watchwords:
Same space feels different each time
Details were always there unnoticed
Nothing stays fixed long enough
Am I forcing it into familiar
Growth feels like losing something first