I have been too close to the work for too long and needed distance before I could see whether I was building what I meant to build or being quietly redirected by my own dreams,
I have been too close and felt the blindness of seeing only what proximity allows while missing the shape that only distance can reveal,
I have been too close to the work and defended it with a conviction shaped less by clarity by how difficult it is to see the flaws in something I have stared for months,
When did I last step far enough away to see the whole rather than the accumulation of decisions I am still emotionally attached to,
I have been too close, stepped back and seen the work differently, even when I disliked what distance revealed, it became some of the most useful information I could receive…
I have worked on several things at once and felt the freedom of not being trapped inside, where I can no longer tell whether it is moving or whether I simply cannot feel its stillness,
I have worked on several things at once and found that what one taught me appeared in another, creating something neither could have produced alone,
I have worked on several things at once and been told it was avoidance or a failure of commitment, sometimes I believed it, until I recognized that not every creative process needs to look the same,
Is the way I work actually the way I work best, simply the way I have been taught serious people should work, and have I truly tested the difference,
I have worked on several things at once and found it generative, found that I the right way depends on the project, the season, and who I am becoming…
I have prepared for a reduction in the conditions available to me and discovered that practicing a simpler life changed what I believed I truly required,
I have prepared by living the simpler version not as punishment but as an honest inquiry, finding both less than I feared and more than I had noticed when abundance was always available,
I have prepared for having less and found that preparation itself was building something more durable beneath a life that depends on everything remaining as it is,
What is the version of my creative life that could still thrive with significantly less comfort and resources, am I building that version or only the one that requires everything to stay the same,
I have prepared for reduction and found that what survived was more essentially mine than what disappeared, that honesty cost me nothing but just the discomfort of discovering what the core truly needs…
I have pruned the work and felt each cut as a small loss that accumulated into something larger, even knowing I was losing the overgrowth and not the root,
I have pruned the work and returned to find it more alive where I had cut, realizing that accepting the loss was the path toward the version worth finishing,
I have pruned the work and felt the intimacy of knowing it well enough to distinguish what it needs from what I added because I could not yet tolerate the emptiness,
What in this work serves the core, and what remains only because I cannot bear to remove something I made with real effort and care,
I have pruned the work and found the core clearer on the other side of every honest cut, slowly learning that the discomfort of cutting may be proof that I am finally doing what the work asks rather than what feels easiest for me…
Watchwords:
Too close to see the whole shape at once,
Cross-pollination that single focus would never produce,
What survived the stripping was most essentially mine,
The loss in the cut is the sign I'm taking it seriously,
The core clearer and more true after every cut...
Here is Tikatarot, who dares you to answer the question, “Who am I?”..
As and will always be reminding you to dream: