I saw an ex last night and I’ve been shaken since. Being face to face with her was acknowledgement of a lost past. Usually with past romances, you always feel as though the door is open to rekindle the flame. As I am transitioning now, that door is forever closed.
As various friends of mine are taking their natural life steps (pregnancy announcements, marriage) I recognize that those dreams have most likely vanished for me. Seeing her was representative of a feeling I am going to have several more times going forward. Prayerfully it gets easier and doesn’t sting like this.
The scope of my transition isn’t lost on me. I’ve tried to prepare for these moments as best I could. But understanding what most likely will happen and having the emotional wherewithal to deal with it are two totally different things.
I’ve never been happier yet I've never endured so much pain.
