Tired of being negative, to feel guilty, to criticize you? Don Miguel Ruiz, author of the book The Four Toltec Accords , drew on the teachings of men and women of wisdom in Mexico to deliver their benevolent message. At the end: happiness, personal freedom and serenity. And if we decided to follow these agreements this year?
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May your word be impeccable
If it is the most difficult to apply, the first agreement is the most important . The author explains it, speech is what we have most powerful, and directly reflects our intentions. We know all too well the criticisms and the gossip that sometimes seem to relieve us but that in reality sow discord around us.
In addition to hurting someone, a negative word is a poison against oneself. Yes, it is to hurt oneself to judge or criticize everything! If we insult someone, the person will hate us, and this hatred will not do us any good. The emotional poison we broadcast turns against us. It is not a question of becoming stupid, but to stop being bad, to make you feel guilty will free you from the negative charge that you carry.
This transformation begins with self - love : by ceasing to criticize oneself ("I am too fat", "thin why I said that, I am too stupid"), we will stop criticizing others. For a positive energy to be sent back to us, our word must be devoid of sin: therefore impeccable.
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Whatever happens, do not make it a personal matter
An important thing to understand when someone criticizes us or gives their opinion about ourselves, is that all that people say is only their opinions . In any case, this opinion is not the reality ... But we too often tend to accept this opinion as a truth. " You make a personal business of what you are told because you agree to it. Because we tend to think that everything revolves around us, we take all criticism in a personal way.
Do not make it a personal matter, it is not to remain indifferent to the remarks of the others, but to take a step back to avoid unnecessary suffering. Once we respect this agreement, a great personal freedom awaits us:
"If you respect this agreement, (...) no one can hurt you. You can say: I love you without fear of ridicule or rejection. You can ask what you need. You can say yes or no, depending on what you choose, without guilt or self-judgment. You can choose to always follow your heart. "
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Do not make assumptions
Every day, because we are afraid to ask for explanations, we lend intentions to others that are often false. But the assumptions we make bring us more problems than anything else. For example, in our relationship, we always think that our partner knows us by heart, and knows what we think. He knows our expectations. And when he does not respect them or does not do what was expected of him, the famous sentence goes out: "You should have known! ".
No more thinking that you do not need to say things, that people will understand for themselves. Nobody conceives the world in the same way as we ... Communication is therefore essential. The way to avoid making assumptions is to ask questions: make sure you understand, ask when you are not sure. Use your word to communicate clearly.
Another situation may be a good example to understand this agreement. As our 18-year-old daughter went out to party, she was told to come back for midnight. At 2am she still has not returned. One can directly imagine the worst: something happened to her, she made an accident. One often makes only one supposition, which is always negative. Why not make several? She met a long time friend, she has a great time, she met a handsome young man. Making lots of assumptions can be the key to getting out of negativity.
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Always do your best
The last agreement concerns the application of the first three: always do your best. And this "better" can vary ! To do one's best is to accept that one day we are tired and we will do less than we want to do. Too much is a loss of energy and performance. To do less is to leave room for frustration and guilt.
The first three Toltec chords will only work if you do your best. We can not always expect to respect them, and we must accept it without feeling guilty. THIS IS NOT SERIOUS if you can not meet them every day. If you break one of the chords, repeat the next day, and the next day. Little by little, you will see that you will adopt these chords automatically.
